how does my poem about my heartbreak sound?

Other than the repetition of 'but' I liked it.

Hey I wanna edit this one! :)

""You were the one who took my heart away

You became the thought that began each new day

You helped me play the melody form the soul

You got my imagination restored

You taught me about love and kindness

You taught me what's pain, what's sadness..

You had my heart, with you, my love

But someone else to hold you and to touch.

You taught me everything, form joy to pain

But you could never ever explain

How to mend my broken heart

that took a wonderful flight in the start,

that could no longer fly but crashed

and on the floor it lies, thrashed.

Coz there'll always be you and me

But never WE!""

Change the second and fourth 'You' to 'and'. Drop the 'better' and the first and third 'but' (and drop the last 'and') and use 'else is' or something instead of else's. Not bad for sentiment, if a bit maudlin. I prefer the direct approach once used in a record title: "You broke my heart so I busted your jaw."

It tolls .

It bleeds

It sulks

and finally you admit a defeat.

Sorry i just realise how bad love can be

but it also teaches you how to write poetry.

It reminds me of the birthday card my grandmother sent me last year.