I am sitting here at work on the verge of tears. I have no one else to ask. My ex husband and I have been?

At the heart of your depression is a man who gives little in the way of emotional strength, yet you cling to a hope that this will change. In your mind you run through the list of what could be wrong, is it you, is it his mid life crisis, all the while stabbing your confidence in life and self esteem over and over again wondering what you did wrong!

While in this state of limbo you deny yourself the satisfaction of believing you are an individual with needs and wants just like any other human, all because you hang on to one thought: Maybe he will come back! It's also possible your sub conscience is not allowing you to be a survivor, rather it's holding you hostage to being a loser.

There's only one direction for you at this point and in a way I think you already know it. No matter how you decide to treat the relationship with your ex you need to start repairing your life immediately. I would start by expanding your yoga experience into some advanced form. Whether it's going somewhere to practice in private or helping a beginner, you simply need to block time that is private and for you alone, in other words don't tell your ex what is happening at that time, simply tell him you are busy that it's you time and something for your life no one else. Stop answering your phone, the anticipation for a productive call from him is killing you and is not going to happen so stop fooling yourself, let his calls go to the voice messaging. You don't need to hear his stories especially since they are only designed to help him.

Start making you the best you can be (if you think you are, your not, your question is prof). Start reading or forcing yourself to read motivational books there's tons on the shelf and they won't break your budget. Making you the best you can be will open up the natural social actions you need to become an active member of society again. You've put yourself in psychological prison now it's time to escape but you have to do with out the person who once said they would honor you. In fact, your pain comes from someone that's lied to you and wants to have the security of your friendship, but is not willing to share the responsibility. And he's good at convincing you that he has the problem and needs your help.... I can only tell you as a distant answerer that you are killing yourself for no reason, I know you don't have a good reason to believe me but again, you probably already know you are grinding yourself down to nothing and eventually there will be nothing left except some guy that lied to you and wants to lean on your shoulder because you've allowed it.

Take back the life you gave up eighteen years ago, get back to feeling the splendor of being someone who matters, give yourself the gift of being human, and be someone who is willing to share their comfort with someone who is willing to share back with love and emotion that we all need. Start learning that the purpose of life is to have a life of purpose, and waisting your time is no longer an option.

I guarantee you that this will upset the man that pretends to be your friend, he will start to insist on knowing what you are doing and maybe even get angry, but don't give in it's about you and your life. Perhaps the time may come that he will beg you for companionship as you will be showing confidence he is not able to have but don't count on it. Go out and take on the day and continue to repeat that you are a beautiful person and deserve the best You can only be pushed into the mud if your standing next to the puddle, start moving, start living and get the best of this one life you have to live.... Good luck:)

Honey I am so sorry but perhaps you should feel stupid.After all this man has put you through you yet again falls for his bull-crap.I am a man and a God fearing man and yet I can tell you this man do not want you..Much of the things you are saying I have been there and I know whats happening.I was left by my wife 3 yrs ago and I am mother and father to my three girls.The found weed, the phone calls and even the emails.I have family yet its like I dont.So I can relly relate ok.You sound to be in the midst of a storm and all hope is gone but Im here to inform you that if you leave the trash where it belongs you wont have dirty hands.There are some good men out there who would love to have a woman of your nature.If you have never tried God please try him this day,this very hour.My world at one point was thurn upside down to even though I had a relationship with God yet because of my faith in him he is still working things out for me.A man with three young girls to raise on his own not being able to work due to issuses involving the girls,family wont help but always wanting things from me..HELP.. My mind was gone but Im still sane.Try reading PSA 30:5"Weeping may endure for a night but;joy cometh in the morning".. PSA:23rd chapter. I feel that you can become the woman God wants you to be.Let the past go.Leave the ex- behind and let God send you your soul-mate.Do it just for you......With much love and deep concern may God see you through the hurt and sleepless nights and bring you much joy never seen.

Dear Kelly,

After reading this my heart really ache and I know and went thru this. I left. I could not stand the hurt and emptiness inside. He is "being" around for the money. In actual fact, he has no self esteem and the younger sluts that he picks up do not want him as their partner, even if he wanted to get serious with any of f them, they would not choose him because he is old, broke, loser and can I just say it again..HE CAN BE THEIR DAD!!

He knows that he has broken and destroyed his marriage and now he is acting like a baby, still wanting his way and stringing you along because he knows you are heartbroken and he thinks you need his companionship.

BE STRONG AND KNOW THAT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND HE HAS SCREWED UP NOT YOU!

If you still love him, you stay. If you think you may go crazy, then go and give yourself some time alone and be with us here in yahoo answers :-)

All the best !

It's funny that it's so obvious to anyone who reads this that he's using you, yet you fail to realize it. He doesn't love you. He only wants you when it's convenient for him.

You feel miserable and bad about yourself because you're in a bad relationship and you're allowing yourself to be used. You know this is wrong, yet you keep sticking in there hoping he will improve. He's not going to. He's proven this over and over.

Use your brain, not your emotions. Don't be his doormat any longer. Put him in his place and lock him out. You do this for YOURSELF! Give yourself some time to heal. When you do, in a few years you will look back and ask yourself how you could be so gullible and stupid.

Yes, he's using you. He wants a mom, not a wife.

I know it's hard to change, but the worse part for you is over. You've made it this far. You can do it. Don't allow him to mentally abuse you any longer.

I explained this before. It is a riddle and upside down because you are looking through fogged lenses. Here you go - Actions speak louder than words. Stop listening to what he is saying to you. BLOCK IT OUT. Now focus on what he is doing to you. What he is NOT doing. And how he is treating you. He is making you feel insecure. He is making you feel like you are the one going crazy. He is making you feel like its YOUR FAULT. HELLO?

He cheated, sold his store, his home and is now living on a houseboat. He's got nothing. Nothing but you to bully around. How long will you sit there and take being bullied before you stand up for yourself?

You deserve better and that is the very last thing he wants you to believe - STOP LISTENING TO HIM.

they always turn it around and make you the crazy one or the one who is imagining things, so they can avoid confrontation. i would have to say from what you've said that you need to dump him because this guy is clearly selfish, doesn't value or love you and your basically wasting your life. as we age we don't look like we are 16 anymore, just a matter of fact. our self worth doesn't lie with how we look or who we are with, our self worth comes from God, and how God sees us. no ones body is Perfect before i got divorced i had gained a few pounds, was called fat hog, when he Walked out on me for this very skinny woman i use to literally starve myself daily and in 6 months i had dropped 50 pounds and looked anorexic. its not about our looks if a man doesn't love us or treat us right we should care enough about ourselves to dump that guy and find someone who does accept us, wrinkles, fat, and all. we can't compete with young girls physically but if a man is comparing us to the young girls he is shallow anyway. what is happening is this guy is using you while cheating on you and your letting it happen. you don;t feel good about yourself because your basing your self worth on outside things, when self worth is on the inside. no one can ex cape aging, it happens to us all. if you got a man you have to worry about that he is cheating why stay with him. takes more than your loving someone to make for a good relationship. no one can make you feel insecure unless you let them. after my husband left me for the skinny woman i lost the weight thinking he would see me and want me again, thing is it wasn't about my weight it was all about his character, or lack of it. you could work put at the gym everyday and have the best body in the world and he still wouldn't treat you any better.

You are in a dead end relationship, and you are letting your long-term attachment to this man even though you are divorced, ruin your life. He is no good (to the bone) and you don't seem to get that. He can't be fixed, but you can. You totally need to seperate yourself from him and cut him off and out of your life. Get counseling and go to a self-esteem workshop to learn to love yourself and to end this horrible cycle of abuse you are allowing to be done to you. Life should be beautiful and not ugly.

He's a liar, a cheat, a doper, lazy and doesn't work, selfish breaks your heart, makes you feel insecure, and living with this crrap for 18 yrs .....yeah I can see why you want his man in your life!!!

You have to help yourself in life...we can't do it for you. You need to get out now before you catch a disease from him and he pulls you down completely in life. Your an example to your child. Do want your child to make this kind of error in life picking this kind of albatross for a husband??

You are waiting for him and he is using you as an option. This man is toxic to you and you need to make a clean break. You deserve better and soon you will see this.