I’m so depressed. I don’t know what to do. Sorry, I know it’s really long.?

Question

I don’t know how much longer I can stand living at home with my family. They are extremely dysfunctional, and my counselor keeps telling me that they are toxic. I don’t think my parents are bad people, and they give me a nice place to stay (their home) and a little extra money every month. They also pay for car insurance, health insurance, and my phone bill which is a huge help. I’m currently going to college full-time, taking 15 hours a semester with a high GPA. I also work part-time as a server. 
Anyway, I feel like the atmosphere in my house is tearing me down, and I can’t form relationships with people like I should. I’m embarrassed to have people over, because my parents are rude about my friends behind their backs. My parents don’t have any friends. All they do is work. My mother has 2 jobs and is constantly complaining about how tired and stressed she is, but she has done this as long as I can remember. My dad is a teacher and claims he doesn't’t have time to spend with the family. He is always sitting back in his room alone and only talks about how annoying the kids are that he teaches or scholarly things. I think there might be a good possibility that he has Asperger's syndrome. He gets mad sometimes, because he can’t win academic arguments with me most of the time, because I have surpassed him. My parents don’t have any hobbies they like to do. They are literally the most boring people I have ever met. No friends. Nothing. Just whining. My mom treats me very rudely (as well as my dad). She always seems to be trying to press my buttons, although I don’t think she does it on purpose. She uses me as an excuse for why she can’t do something. She’s 59. She can do whatever the heck she wants. My mother would sleep all day if she could. She’s on so many kinds of anti-depressants, I can’t even count them all. I feel extremely neglected by both of my parents, because they never spend any time with me. When I try to tell them this, they make excuse after excuse or they turn it around on me and say “I can’t be the perfect parent.” Or they’ll say I’m too stressed right now to do anything. There’s always a constant crisis. I’m somewhat mad at my parents, because they have just declared bankruptcy again for the second time. Who is going to cosign for my school loans?! Who can cosign for anything?? Car? Rent? Etc. I’m trying to build up the best credit score I can, but it’s still not much. Our house is disgusting. My dad and I are the only ones who really clean it on a regular basis, and I cook a really nice almost restaurant quality meal almost every day. My mother refuses to cook any of the veggies my dad buys, but complains about being overweight and having diabetes. Everything they do, especially my mom, really irritates me to no end. She and my sister are the only ones who I ever fight with in the entire world. My sister is beyond lazy. She’s 15, but her bedroom floor is completely covered with stuff where you can barely walk inside, she doesn’t do dishes either, doesn’t cook. All she does is stay in her room. She gets ignored even more than me by my parents. I want to be closer to her like we were when we were younger, but she acts like she hates me 95% of the time, and when I ask if she wants to go somewhere with me she says no very angrily. She’s freaking emotionally abusive to me, and doesn’t act like the sweet girl my parents raised her to be. She’s so smart like my father and I, but all she wants to do is be a tattoo artist. She is very good at it, tho, but when I ask her if she will make a poster for my room she refuses every time to “punish” me for something. My parents can’t control her at all.
I’m just concerned about what’s going to happen when I move out. Last time I moved into my aunt and uncle’s house for 2 months, and my mom went berserk and called me and said “I don’t know why you hate me so much,” while crying hysterically. Then I started crying, because she made me feel so guilty. I feel like someone cries in our house almost every day. When I moved out, I felt worse instead of better. I’m afraid that I will feel like that again. I feel like I don’t have parents, and they are not emotionally there for me. As well as irresponsible and not able to manage their time.

What should I do?
Should I try to slowly separate myself from them, becoming completely independent when I move into my dorm at the University? I don’t think I will ever have normal parents.
And how do I deal with this problem now while I'm still living at home?

I also feel like they are affecting me so much that I don't want to get a boyfriend, because I fear that he will be caught up in all our drama all the time.

Amanda · Accepted Answer

Your counselor telling you that your parents are 'toxic' is the most unprofessional thing I have ever heard of. Yes, your family is dysfunctional but so is everyones. They are older and tired and have two kids who are almost grown. They are unhappy and taking it out on you. That happens. Your dad may have aspergers it would explain why he has trouble connecting with your family. Bottom line though is that they are your family and the only one you have. You cannot fix them. All you can do is get out of there and love them from afar. Try to leave on good terms with a reason other than them for leaving. For instance, it will make college easier for you. Go home and visit and call so that they won't feel abandoned. You will feel guilty, but you have to leave eventually. Maybe some day you can all re-connect as a family but you are only a fourth of the equation. Don't deprive yourself of a boyfriend most people have family problems. Sounds like you are on the right track. Don't let this hold you back. As for your sister shes fifteen. She will grow out of this stage. Give her a couple of years. I wish you the best of luck.

OverNightCelebirty06 · Answer

Welcome to the real world hun. Life is tough and full of obstacles that we need to over come. If you want tough try raising a child. My life completely changed when my baby girl came into my life. She is my 24/7. Don't get me wrong I love her to the core of my soul but do I stop because I had her? No. Look your parents pay for you car insurance that's a blessing, me on the other hand I lost my job,was in a 4 year relationship that I ended 2 months ago now I can't afford to pay my bills alone. So before I can go back into college I need to find a job which thank God I have an interview on Monday. But look at you your bills are paid for and you might think your parents suck but they do the best they can. Every family is dis functional and it sounds to me like you do need to move out. You will see though how hard it is alone but if you feel it's gonna help clear your head and make you focus more than do it. I moved out when I was 19. I went to a training school and landed a good job and 2 years after I bought me a nice car and had my own place. My money I earned on the job helped me go back to college so if I did it you can do it too. No one is perfect so don't judge your parents because what ends up happening is as we grow up we end up sounding like them. You sound bright and I wish your future well.

? · Answer

God has promised soon to remove, by means of his heavenly Kingdom, all the depressing conditions on our earth. His Word declares: “I am creating new heavens and a new earth; and the former things will not be called to mind, neither will they come up into the heart. But exult, you people, and be joyful forever in what I am creating.” (Isaiah 65:17,Â 18) These words were initially fulfilled back in 537Â B.C.E., at the time when the ancient nation of Israel was restored to its homeland. His people then sang: “We became like those who were dreaming. At that time our mouth came to be filled with laughter, and our tongue with a joyful cry.” (Psalm 126:1,Â 2) How much grander will be the soon-to-be-realized final fulfillment of this heartwarming prophecy in God’s new world!—2Â Peter 3:13; Revelation 21:1-4.
Under God’s Kingdom (the “new heavens”), a righteous society of people on earth (the “new earth”) will be restored to perfect emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Not that these ones will have no recollection of the past, but in view of all the pleasant things they will then have to think about and to rejoice over, there will be no reason for them to call to mind or to focus on all the sad experiences of the past. Imagine, each morning to awaken with a crystal-clear mind, eager to get on with the day’s activity—no longer hampered by a depressed state!
Fully convinced of the reality of this hope, Lola (mentioned at the outset), said: “Remembering that Jehovah’s Kingdom will straighten out this problem was my greatest help. I knew that the depression would not last forever.” Yes, you can be sure that God soon will make possible absolute victory over depression!

Anonymous · Answer

Too drunk to read all of question
Girls are not worth trouble, no matter how hot
Life is too short to care about ****
Have fun with the time you have
You don't get everything you want, I definitely know that. Even if all you want is a nice girl who isn't going to **** your best friend, you can't have it, it's impossible.
Life's a party, go do **** that you'll most likely regret later
Have pride in you, you're a MAN
Newt Gingrich 2012

P.S. don't really vote for Gingrich, I ******* hat that guy
and Santorum
If you're going to vote just write in vodka
The end

AR88 · Answer

Your counselor is right: your household is toxic. You should definitly move out, you need to be independant and alone with your thoughts for a while so you can recuperate mentally and be able to be the person you need to be. I know your parents aren't the best and they have they're flaws but what parent doesn't have flaws?.. We do not choose our parents and family, you can't change them. It is what it is BUT.. You can change your life and you can change your own destiny for the better. Don't let your family's problems get in the way of achieving what you want in life. You have the power to be different and get the best out of your life.

Mia · Answer

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I’m so depressed. I don’t know what to do. Sorry, I know it’s really long.?

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