How can I abstain from drinking alcohol in a social 'drinking' environment after a friend's funeral?

It's not hard. Put it like this. Would your buddy want you to drink or would your buddy want you to be sober? After you honestly answer that question... Doooont driiiink anythiiiing.

I'm not giving you the you can do it speech, I'm giving you the Only a ***** can't say no to something speech. It's not a physical addiction, it's a socially exciting addiction.

If you're not able to control yourself then you probably shouldn't go out afterward... And you should probably get your mom to Take you and make sure you have clean whitey tighteys since you can't control your body. Also, maybe rather than asking 5billion people on the internet that probably have drinking problems of their own, why don't you ask a close friend to go with you that doesn't drink. How old are you? Go to an AA meeting if it's that hard for you.

Look around to the left... And then right.... Did you see a gun to your head? If you did... Take the drink. If you didn't, and you took the drink anyway... You're a *****...

You're welcome. And sorry for your loss.

I can tell you how I used to do it! Go to the bar so that you're a bit distant from your friends and order either a non-alcoholic beer or a ginger ale. Ask the bartender to put it in a beer mug. The bartender will know exactly what you're doing.

Then, keep sipping on it as if you're really drinking, but don't take too much in. I found tipping my head back while I took a sip made people think I was drinking more than I was.

I would also go to the bar and get another drink without drinking the first one. I would casually get up while people were chatting or walk to another table and quietly put my drink down on someone else's table. Then sit there or stand without one until everyone ordered a new round.

Finally, don't tell everyone what you're doing! You'd be amazed how clueless people are of your behavior if they don't know. Haha! Your relaxed manner will be the key.

Good luck!

This is just my opinion based on what you posted, but considering the amount you said you drank ".5-6 pints of beer over a few hours ..." on one night and what seems to be a struggle to not drink and constantly thinking about it and a few other things you said and trying to rationalize why you aren't drinking, you are NOT a social drinker you are more of a binge drinker and (I know you will get defensive/deny it) alcoholic.

It shouldn't be a battle to not drink alcohol, no matter where you are or the circumstances, if you haven't developed a dependency to it, think about it. You're not even at the funeral or the following get together and you are already planning/concerned about drinking, you see where I'm coming from. The alcohol and consuming and or not consuming it is taking priority.

I could careless if you drink or don't drink, but based on what you said I think you have more of a problem then you think, especially if you have to ask for advice about it on Yahoo A., no offense intended.

My advice is if you are struggling to not drink, as you stated, then don't go to the pubs after wards if you are struggling with self control.

Order a cranberry juice, it's easy. I had to stop drinking the moment I found out I was pregnant. I didn't drink until 5 mo after I had her and I found it to be easy. Just tell your friends that your on medication if the hound you. I know the pressure could be hard because drunks are relentless. If it gets to that point take a shot of juice. I have done it before when my drunk friends wouldn't shut up lol. I used to work in a bar and I would take shots of water when my regulars would insist I have a drink. Stay strong and give your body that much needed rest!

Simple...just don't go to the reception after the funeral or go for a few minutes and don't eat or drink anything and leave. Pay your respects to the family and leave. The funeral is what is important not the reception following.

Or stay away from the kitchen or tables that have alcohol on hand. Maybe bring your AA sponsor with you or a close family member or friend who can help you avoid drinking. Stick to water and concentrate on eating food only. But I really think you should just attend the funeral and stay for a very short time and leave the reception and that way you won't stick around long enough to even want something to eat or drink.

It's odd, and I can't really explain it or justify it, but I am a bit suspicious of people who don't drink, and I know there are others who feel the same way. I don't know if it's that I feel like those people are being sanctimonious or something, but it does bother me a little even though I know it shouldn't. I actually have to make a conscious effort to ignore that bias.

I don't, however, feel that way at all about people that quit drinking, even if they never had a drinking problem.

In any case, I've been out many times with people who don't drink, and most often they just order non-alcoholic beverages like iced tea or soda. You can toast the dearly departed with a glass of water. It's the remembrance that's important, not what's in the glass.

I think if this is important to you, then stick to your program. You may be pressured by friends with whom you've previously shared drinks. If it comes up, you can say that this is something you need to do, and that you don't need to drink to celebrate the memory of your friend. You can also remind them that this day isn't for you, it's for your friend who died.

Just tell people who ask why you are not drinking either that you are driving, or that you are on antibiotics and can't drink. Simples.

Don't go into the whole one-year test thing. As Joe points out, there is a risk that you will come over as holier-than-thou, and it's not actually that interesting to folk. It's much, much easier to tell a white lie about driving or the antibiotics thing.

Ask for water or soft drinks. Rely on dependable friends and family to keep you on the straight and narrow. I think if you told them your reasons for not drinking, they should support you.

You want to keep up the good work. There will always be obstacles.. and you have planned ahead- so you know where they are what they are.

Keep your friend's memory alive by keeping to your principles.

Good Luck!

Start by being clear about your goal: It's not to convince the people pressuring you that you're right not to drink, or even to get them to shut up. It's just to avoid drinking. With that in mind, just keep saying "No, thank you" or "No, I'd rather not", without bothering to explain or defend yourself.

Drink non-alcoholic beer, or iced tea or soda.