I caught my 12 yr old...?

I'm answering this as someone who was a rebellious teenager, now a 33yo with a bit more experience on my shoulders. Do't come down on her like a ton of bricks about this because you don't want to risk alienating her at this age, especially if she thinks she's more grown-up than she is because she needs to know that you won't judge her. The thing I remember at that age is that I didn't "get" why things weren't appropriate because I wanted to do them so therefore they couldn't be. I use the word wanted in a loose sense because what I understood wanted to mean wasn't the same as is it now- back then it encompassed 'what the other person wants' as well or sometimes only that, and also 'everyone else is doing it therefore I must do it too'. I think you start by asking her what she understood about what she was doing, then move onto why she was doing it, then explain why you feel she shouldn't be doing it and make it into a proper conversation as to the consequences of that behaviour. You may uncover a lot more about her peer group than you think and be able to bring up the swearing and the piercing too.

I find it interesting that you use the term little girl. By the age of 12, I had started my periods, had an eating disorder, wore a bra and had been, ahem, pleasing myself for quite a while, I don't mean this to sound critical because obviously you know your daughter but I was quite a way from being a little girl and I wasn't the only one out of my group of friends, or other girls in my school year, like it. Connecticut, for example, allows an age of consent in certain circumstances of 13- make of that what you will but it does mean that some body in law considers a girl only a year older than your daughter capable of and entitled to sexual activity. it is currently 14 in Portugal, that's only 2 years away. My issue when I was your daughter's age was that yes I thought I was more mature than I really was but my parents thought I was less mature than I really was and as a result I couldn't talk to them about stuff when I really needed to because they'd decided there was no reasoning with me and I'd decided there was no reasoning with them. The details aren't relevant here but the net result was that I ended up in some (I mean that as plural) situations in the following couple of years that I now deeply regret and that could have been so easily avoided had I not felt obliged (and in my teenage mind, justified) to go 'underground' where the 'cool' kids were and where it was that much harder to feel accepted and integrated without having to prove my mettle, because peer acceptance is vital and important when you're that age, whether as parents it's welcomed or understood or not. I just mean see your daughter for what she really is, not what you want or dream or believe her to be and that is as a 'baby' adult and just as you did when she was a baby she needs a lot of guidance at this age and you need to make that as accessible to her as you can.

Discipline for the bad language. For the boy crazy part and body piercing.... Maybe you should switch her schools after a good talking too about sex, drugs, and alcohol because she may be hanging out with the wrong people. You haven't done anything wrong as a parent it's just that she's trying to be the cool bad*** in the school. Just monitor her behavior.... it may help a little but you have to approach this the way your daughter would want to maybe tell her that you were just like her when you were her age, but then you realized that it's not always cool to just let your life go down the drain like that. Teach her to say no when boys ask her out and also start the no dating rule until 15-16 and you have to approve of the boy. Be the parent chaperon on get togethers with friends she may not like it at first but when she's an adult with her own kids She'll probably not be able to thank you enough for putting her on the right track. Right now she's just fallen down trying to walk on her own feet and you as the parent needs to help her back up and walking again.

Ok first breath calm down relize that it might not be just one person influening her with todays society little girls feel the need to be excuse my bluntness to be sluts in order to have boys like them and if he's an older boy he will be able to make her do anything because he's older and her friends will think she's cool cuz an older boy likes her and she will do anything so he stays with her I know this is not comforting but the best I can tell u is if u can't stop her negotiate with her let her have a bf but make it to where all of there dates have to be supervised and talk to her about sex tell her she is going to regret it if she does it before she's ready and I would find out the name of the boy and tell his parents that he's a perv messing around with a 12yr old its part of being a teenager/preteen she's going to want to go against everything u guys try to protect her from I should know I was 16 and messing with a 24yr old I hated my mom when she said I couldn't see him I fought with her for weeks but now I can't thank her enough for it

Good luck I hope this helps

Less is NOT more when it comes to talking to a 12 year old about sex and appropriate behavior. She needs a good talking to, but not a lecture. Have a conversation with her about it, let her talk too, but also try to explain what is allowed and what isn't. She sounds like she is curious, so why not get the information from YOU where you can control the situation than her friends, who have tons of false information.

Make sure that you inform her of your standards and what consequences exist. Also, consider buying her some luggage, as she is gunna do the big runaway thing, so as to make sure that you know who the REAL boss is. Consider pysch doctor asap. Cut the TV and netflix.

Confront her behaviour in front of the bad actors.

Well isolating her, will make you the worst mom to her. I mean, if you watch other kids her age.. They're all like that. In middle school she probably hears older kids talking like that.

sit down and have a good talk with her not as her mother but as a friend. if all else fails you have to be strict don't let her get away with stuff she has to kno every action has a consequence but most importantly that she can trust you.

I'm sorry to inform you. Your daughter will end up a whore. :'(