I want to hurt people when I get mad but I hold it back?

Question

I'm a 14 year old girl and whenever I get pissed at somebody I get a really strong urge to bite them or kick them or punch them or something. I must have really strong self-control though, because I've never pursued it (except for #4 listed below). For example-

1) About a year ago my dad told me (rudely and impatiently) to do something, and apparently I didn't turn around to do it quick enough so he slapped my butt. I almost kicked him in the balls.

2) My friend said something rude to me and turned away and I almost bit her shoulder.

3) My other friend said something like "umm.. okay?" at something I really really cared about and I almost kicked her leg

4) Some upperclassmen guys in the school hallway were "horse playing" and pretty much crashed their mob into me and I DID lightly kick one guy's leg but I don't think he noticed it was on purpose.

5) Today my dad yelled at me for resting 30 seconds (I had ran to the house) before I headed down to feed our chickens and I almost kicked his leg (there are so many situations like this. my dad provokes me.)

What can I do to lessen this because I know some day it'll be too much and I'll actually hurt somebody.  Please don't suggest breathing exercises, they make me even more mad.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm just like you.  I listen to some soothing music.  I like listening to You are Not Alone or Earth Song.

muhammad · Answer

Everything that had happened to u isnt even that bad. On a scale of 1-10 ur examples r like a 3-3.5 on how angry u shud u be.. U r totally over reacting, none of what happened shud make u want to harm sum1. When ur dad tells u something u shouldnt be angry. Wen sum1 accidentally bumps into u, u shouldnt be mad, its an accident, they dont do it on purpose, they didnt mean it... And y the h*ll would u want to bite sum1? Thats what 3 year olds do. U want to inflict pain on ppl just because of 1 little thing. U probly think u have good restraint, but u shouldnt get mad over the smallest and dumbest stuff. Just try not to think about all the small stuff.

? · Answer

Bio feedback can be helpful in this situation. For sure you are disciplined enough not to let your angst take the best of you. So there is the hope that you can be less stressed which will allow you to simply grin and bear it. You can learn about bio feedback and attend a workshop on it. You could also learn self hypnosis. They sell books on this and it s really giving yourself positive feedback on how to change the angst. Your dad does sound controlling. One day you will be all grown up can move away. You will be just fine. You will not progress to more violence because you will have it much easier not having your controlling dad on your case. Good luck!

? · Answer

When I was 12-13 I punched my two best friends in the face til they were bleeding profusely not two mention a string of other mindless crimes, you are young and with age comes wisdom, but righ now your just gonna have to deal with your childish Impulses, I would recommend just speaking your mind more often!! without yelling!! It's more effective and less painful than Violence.

? · Answer

1.) Get rid of father
2.) Move out of farm (This might solve #1)
3.) Take an anger management class or something, God damn girl
4.) If the instructor here ^ tells you to do breathing exercises, just give him a slight, subtle KICK IN THE BALLS.
5.) Go to school in order to get good job that you love
6.) Marry someone you truly fall in love with
7.) Move to Hawaii 

(Studies show that people who get married and live in Hawaii are happier. Look it up.)

Trending News

I want to hurt people when I get mad but I hold it back?

5 Answers