My boyfriend plans to propose to me... :S?

Unless your loose-lipped pal actually saw an engagement ring, and was directly told your man plans to ask - you don't know for sure. So all of this may well prove moot.

If he does plan to propose. . . the only thing for it is an honest discussion about your reservations - anything else is dishonest, and disrespectful. I do not suggest (as you seem to be considering) trying to inadvertantly, subtly let your boyfriend know you're not there yet - just seems like a recipe for misunderstanding, hurt feelings, confusion, and so on.

If you're really, *really* firm in this your current feeling. . . meaning you wouldn't get married to this man right now no matter what - I think the proper thing to do is to approach him, ask him about what your friend said, and then - talk it out like two grown-ups ought to.

If you're worried about *recovering* as a couple after a rejection (and I would be too), I think you should take the bull by the horns and head him off before it gets that far. If you want to stay with this person, if you love him - be honest. Be forthright. Be kind, and be straightforward - don't try to come up with the one, magical phrase that will simultaneously let him know you're not ready, while sparing his feelings. It just doesn't exist.

Communication, girl. Good stuff.

Edit - Ok, perfectly reasonable feelings. But I am surprised that at no point during your relationship, the issue has come up. Is he completely unaware of how you feel about marriage? Or has he heard what you have to say about it in the past, but maybe thinks you will "come around" if he asks?

I would find a time to level with him, before he gets down on that knee and *really* gets his feelings hurt. And no judgement, here, but a little food for thought: breaking up is hard. And painful. And messy. The only way a divorce differs from a regular old break-up is time and expense. The hurt doesn't vary - just the list of inconveniences.

Just something to keep in mind if and when you ever find yourself reexamining the question of marriage - with or without that piece of paper, parting ways sucks. Good luck, I hope you guys can get through this.

I don't know if you can put off his proposing without revealing that his blabbermouth friend spilled the beans.

Which means that when (if) he does, you need to find the gentlest way of saying that you love him and want to spend the rest of your lives together, but you are a little gun-shy, having seen so many marriages fail. Basically, it's not him, it's you and you plan on being with him for the long haul, marriage license or no marriage license.

You might get lucky and have the subject of marriage come up in another context--try not to be obvious and bring it up yourself--in which case you can say that you don't ever want to get married because so many of the ones you've seen have failed, blah, blah, blah.

However it happens, I hope you and your boyfriend have many happy years together.

Honesty is not always the best policy if you consider it is going to hurt someone. With a little imagination you should be able to get round to a serious discussion on the subject. For example if it's something on TV or another couple you know who is going to be married. If you do truly love your boyfriend as you say make sure you start with reassurance when you start the discussion eg I suppose if that's what they want out of life (referring to the other party) fine. I know I love you and can't think of us growing apart but I know at present I wouldn't want to get in to marriage. Obviously your own words but better you bringing it up and resolving the situation rather than the embarrassment your bf will go through if you don't accept.

Ok well here is some ideas:

1-Watch a movie specifically aimed at a wedding/marriage/divorce and voice ur opinion! Be like "omg divorce like that sucks, i wouldnt wanna go through that ever... it would suck to be married"

2- tell him ur parents lost their jobs and are poor, so then he will know they cant pay for the wedding

and **FINALLY**... if he goes thru with it despite all this---

it depends how he proposes

most men like hiding the ring in FOOD. i would know. now if he makes u something or takes u to a nice restaurant and gets a 'special dessert' for u--- U MUST EAT IT ALL. DONT STOP TO BREATHE. EAT THE RING!!!!! EAT THE RING THAT IS BURIED IN THE FOOD!!!!!! this will stop the proposal and make it very unromantic bc it will be buried somewhere else after u eat it...

If you plan to be with him forever why not marry him? You could break up even without a marriage certificate.

This is about you and him and what you both want. You've stated you don't want to get married, what about what he wants?

If he does propose, tell him that you're not ready yet. Or, try to bring up the topic of marriage casually and then give your opinion that way.