How much of my life is in my parents' hands?

I've always listened to my parents. They are strictly religious, and as such, I've always pretended I cared about religion too. I have two siblings who are true believers like my parents. It isn't too hard to be ultra-conservative because I'm also a terrible introvert, and when you don't socialize much with people you don't do bad things with them either. Still, I haven't truly believed in God at least since I was five years old.

I'm 24 now, in graduate school abroad. I'm in a totally different country than the rest of my family.

But I'm still part of my campus religious organization for my denomination, and I'm active. I still dress in exactly the same conservative way my parents want me to. I keep up the facade because I don't want to be a hypocrite--telling my family one thing, but being entirely a different thing in action. The idea of acting in a way that's different from what people believe of me rubs me the wrong way, but yet I've formed a habit over years of acting in a way that's different from what I believe, playing the role my parents expect of me.

Most people, I think, overcome this pattern of behavior in their teens. I just lived with it instead, and thus I think I have missed a few points in my development as an adult. I had a clandestine online relationship or two and they both ended of their own accord; I've never yet had the chance to have a real relationship, ultimately for lack of trying.

I've come to the point where I'm deeply frustrated by this dichotomy, this cognitive dissonance. I'm tired of living up to a standard I don't believe in. I don't do anything different in real life right now, but joined a dating site or two when I realized the last thing I want is to let my parents set me up with another person who's going to expect me to be this religious saint--it'll just be more acting for me and if he ever figures out how much of a fake I am, it'll only cause pain to him, too.

So I joined these dating sites, but I'm actually too scared to put a picture of myself on my profile! I feel like I don't even own my image, because I know if my parents ever happen to see that picture (who knows, a friend might find it and show them) then they'll be so disappointed in me.

Should I just wait it out and keep pretending? Considering that I've gotten by 24 years this way, maybe I don't really mind this lifestyle. Maybe I'm actually more comfortable with religion than without it, even though I don't believe in it one little bit. Maybe if I marry a religious man the way they want me to, I'll still get all I want out of the relationship and family life without ever having to expose my dissatisfaction with religion and God.

Most likely, if I just sit around and wait, my parents will have arranged a marriage for me within the next 1-2 years, as they did for my siblings before me. Those siblings are happy with what they have.

Sometimes what I want out of life is to be with someone who understands me, to stop lying for a while, to let my hair down in company, to find out what alcohol tastes like, to fall in love with someone I meet and not have to kill my feelings, to show a little cleavage when I go out sometimes. To be honest to myself but also to be a little deviant, a little experimental. I normally shut this impulse down but I want to get it out in writing before my conscience shuts me up. If you've got any feedback, please help.

What courses of action do I have? The only course of action that is familiar and "safe" to me is pretending, hiding, and waiting it out, but in that method I fear the lifelong festering of dissatisfaction and remaining unfulfilled. I don't know, but maybe the time to change is now, before I sign myself up for a life I won't be happy living.