Can Your Favorite Classical Music Pun Top This Gem?

These two are for those well versed in classical music jokes (caution only for those who like deceptive cadences):

Why was it difficult to find Beethoven's teacher?

Because he was Albrechtsberger.

Why did J.S Bach have so many children?

Because he was very affectionate with his wife.

Richard Strauss had an obsessive crush on the actress Sarah Bernhardt. To that end, while she was in town on tour, Strauss started showing up at her apartments. Bernhard'ts Chamber Maid opened the door, and there was Strauss, bouquet of flowers in hand, pleading to be allowed to see her.

The chamber maid relayed his request, telling Strauss, "She said if you walked her pet leopard she vill consider seeing you." Strauss, with some trepidation nonetheless readily accepted, the leopard was brought to him on leash, and he left the apartments and took the animal for a walk.

When he returned, the Chamber maid told him, "Next, zu vill valk ze pet Volf: again he capitulated, and after returning from walking the Wolf, he again asked for his audience with Sarah Bernhardt.

The maid said, "Miss Bernhardt now asks, if you have any real affection for her, that you valk ze pet lion." Again, with some fear, the hopelessly smitten Richard Strauss accepted this task, left the apartment, and with great difficulty, walked the lion.

When he returned, hoping that three was the magic number and charm, he asked if he could then at last see Miss Bernhardt.

The Chamber Maid said to him, "But now, Richard, zu must also valk Zarah's Rooster."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFPwm0e_K98

Best regards

Schoenberg's composition student said that he wanted to write a passacaGlia for his next assignment.

Schoenberg said, "Oh no! The word is passacaLLia. The G is silent."

The following week, Schoenberg looked over the student's manuscript and said, "What is this! There are only eleven tones in the row!"

The student said, "But I thought you said last week that the G was silent."

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

Because they kept saying "Bach, Bach, Bach"

What's brown and sits on a piano bench?

Beethoven's last movement.

The only ones I've ever heard:

I'll be Bach.

If it ain't Baroque, don't fix it.

I have another call waiting; can I put you on Holst? and,

I'm going Chopin, have you seen my Liszt?

That's good right there and funny as Hell and IDC who you are; "Git-r-done!" No. Nothing comes to mind. Dam the BS of media.

Following on to Nick's "if it ain't baroque."

This from the cartoon Pearl Before Swine

http://probaway.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/irene_...

And another

... it hangs in my office.

And another one dating way back to 1980 ... Canned Music

http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk206/ijones_bu...

One of the cockney rhyming slang expressions for drunk is 'Brahms and Liszt' (pis*ed)