Would I be able to poke Jesus` eyes even if he tried to block me?

No. Not a good strategy. Wait until you bow before him (as required), then give him an uppercut to the groin.

He wouldn't try and block you, he'd just turn the other cheek.

meh

Yo! it's me Jesus.....back and still eating the fruits and seeds as God ordered in Genesis, from beginning to end....

and to prove I'm the real deal I explain (in all languages as promised) how I performed 2 miracles feeding the 5000 and the miraculous catch in my key video "the announcement". More will be revealed in due course over the next while as the world wakes up to the reality I am back. Of course some will say I am an imposter but the reality is no one will wonder how the miracles were performed anymore as my truth will be embedded in the minds of man and everyone will know it's the truth even if they deny me in their hearts. I urge you to Spread the video (facebook-Jayzus Christo, twitter-@themessiahme, email etc). to doubt is normal but oppose or censor me at your peril. Those who muster faith and pass on the video shall be rewarded (although perhaps despised by many).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1p9lwanuhOM

Love Jesus reincarnate.

PS. there is no contradiction between God and science as I explain briefly and succinctly

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sV_K-Lsjw8

Plus the new calendar, not so new but the easiest and most universal true celestrial calendar. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQhK_jAEkrs

PPS. The Quran is expired. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=did2nF2Za88

plus one especially for athiests. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EA24K3hEZA

and catholics http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcUUAR5F768

for creationists http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sV_K-Lsjw8

PPPS. PLEASE don't anyone waste your time replying with OT/NT quotes about warnings of false messiahs, many coming in my name etc! I know the bible..... it just so happens I'm the ONE who understands it and is sent to fulfil it.

If he doest want you to you couldn't. He would know you were going to do it before you did it.

You could, but you would have to find him first. Might I suggest high doses of pain pills? I hear that's a good way to find Jesus. After all, that is how eight out of ten salvation stories start. Look there!