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Is this a good THESIS statement??????
Im in 10th grade writing a 10 page paper on how discrimination changed the lives of African Americans. Can you please be honest and tell me anything I should change????
Thesis-
It was crucial that justice was to be severed for African Americans since they believed that discrimination and segregation had completely obstructed the route of their lives through Black Codes and Jim Crow Laws that were intended to suppress freedom, the construction of the Freedmen’s Bureau that helped distressed freedmen, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People’s victories that pushed African Americans into society, the supreme court decision of the Plessey v. Ferguson case, and through the invasion of the Ku Klux Klan that put fear into African Americans.
3 Answers
- Anonymous9 years agoFavorite Answer
It is very detailed but don't you think it is too long.
- Anonymous9 years ago
No; it makes absolutely no sense. What does "justice was to be severed" mean? "Severed" means "cut off" (as in "my arm was severed from my body when the train ran over it.") What in the world are you trying to say?
Also, you seem to be confusing things that caused problems for African Americans (such as the Jim Crow laws and the KKK) and things that benefited them (such as the Freedmen's Bureau and NAACP). You seem to be saying that all of those causes resulted in the same effects, which also makes absolutely no sense.