How to deal with Borderline narcissistic wife?

She has not been officially diagnosed but she shows signs of it. Also I don't think she does it naturally. I love her to death and we have been married for 5 years now. But I'm tired of our marriage being one sided. Here are some of the things she does:'

1. I have not been able to share a differing opinion or idea from that of hers for almost 5 years now. She acted all offended and act accuse me of thinking she was stupid. for the last 4 or five years I just don't share my own opinions anymore. Luckily I'm the boss at work so my opinion counts somewhere.

2. She always insists on being right. Sometimes I'll be wondering about some fact or something and she "tell me" what I want to know supposedly. However If I go to look it up she'll accuse me of thinking she's stupid and get mad at me.

3. Because of her I've cut off most of my communication with my family. When we see them we only spend a couple of hours with them.

4. She holds herself to double standards all the time. She always talks about us carrying an equal load of responsibilities. However she wants me to carry the brunt of it.

5. She's extremely competitive. If I win against her in anything she accuses me of not caring about her and sometimes she'll go hours without talking to me.

6. She's bad with money and she'll ask me if We can do an expensive thing. I'll say we can't afford it and she'll act all hurt and then I feel bad because I'm not providing enough for her wants.

7. For some reason she sees the success of others around her as her failures and she expects me to side with her and despise that person with her.

8. I have ADHD. So short term memory is not my forte. Many times in my day I'll forget what someone said to me in the last week. If I forget what she says ever she accuses me of not respecting her and she acts hurt.

9. She expects to be served. When we first got married I would offer to clear the table after dinner. now she expects it. If I wait too long to do it she gets very angry with me and implies I'm lazy. Also whenever she does anything around the house she gets mad at me and acts like I wronged her. I work 3 times as many hours as she does normally and she still expects me to do more around the house(no kids yet).

10. She doesn't listen to advice. and if it comes from me then she gets really mad and implies that I'm trying to control her. But she expects me to take any advice from her as the gospel truth.

There are other examples. However you get the idea. you could say its not as bad as it used to be. However when I stopped disagreeing with her openly she stopped getting mad about that. one time 2 years ago I had to disagree with her and she still gets bitter about it when she thinks about it. I'm tired of not getting treated like an equal. I want my voice to be heard and valued.

I would like her to find it in her heart to change so our marriage can be good. As Mormons divorce isn't a very popular option and the idea doesn't thrill me. I started to feel really down on myself and like a bad husband. but for some reason It dawned on me a few months ago during one of my wife's lectures that it wasn't my fault. She wasn't like this during our dating/engagement. She was the sweetest person ever and displayed none of these traits. between her "fits" she gets really sweet. Clingy even. I don't know how I can be the apple of her eye one day and the next I'm afraid of her.

help. I need soem advice.

Thanks