Michael M

I'm a Custodial Supervisor at a university. I directly supervise 20 people. Over the last two years my fellow supervisors and I have been stripped of more and more authority. I make sure all of my part-time custodians are properly trained and I make sure they have the equipment and supplied they need to do their job. Lately I have three employees who just don't want to pull their weight. My boss says that their unwillingness to work is my fault because I haven't given them good enough reasons to buy into their job. my other 17 employees are all hard workers as am I. We aren't perfect and we have our off days but we do our best. Is it really my fault that they don't work hard? I was taught that you do the job you were trained to do with little or no complaining.

Hello, is it normal for one s spouse to be jealous of work benefits. I have a full-time job and she has a part-time job. She has never been interested in working full-time. However every time I use sick leave she gets really mad at me. Most of the time I just work half a day when I m sick that way I get home after she has left for work. Also , when upper management takes me and my fellow supervisors out for lunch she gets insanely upset with me. She doesn t like the fact that I have wellness time either. Is this normal? I d like to think that if she got benefits like this I would be happy for her. However it when I use my benefits(except for my tuition reimbursement benefits) it always leads to her resenting me.

Hello,

I'm wondering what I should do. I'm a front line supervisor at a state university. One of my employees had an interview to move up and my boss, his boss, and our department's HR specialist decided to make it a lunch meeting and they ate lunch in front of the candidates. I felt it was completely unprofessional and I reported it to our Director of HR. She was livid over it and took steps.

Now I'm being targeted with disciplinary actions due to "poor customer service", time theft, firing my employees for the drop of a hat and a bunch of other things. I'm not perfect at customer service. Like anyone else I still have much to improve on with my customer service but I don't think it warrants discipline. And it doesn't warrant all of these false accusations from my boss and his boss.

Is this retaliation? I've reported these actions to our HR director. If I were to get fired due to these workplace politics how do I explain this in future job interviews. Can HR fix these issues?

HELP! I used to really like my job and now as soon as I graduate from said university I'm getting while the gettings good.

Hello, I'm a Mormon and many times we see similarities between the Jewish and LDS faiths. Be both believe that we're descendants from the 12 tribes of Israel. I was wondering what you're view on God is? in the LDS faith we don't believe in the Trinity but in a Godhead. God the Father's, whom we sometimes call Elohim; Jesus Christ, whom we also call Jehova, and the Holy Ghost. I know that you probably don't view Jesus as Jehova but do you believe in these three beings? We see them as three separate and distinct beings.

I've been married for almost 7 years. When we dated it seemed better than wonderful. My wife set me on a high pedestal. Then six months into our marraige my wife's true colors started to show themselves. Every time I showed a different taste from what she liked or disagreed with her she would either rage against me or act like I had greatly hurt her. I'm not sure which made me feel worse. She would also do the same when I wouldn't "obey" her. She is also extremely jealous of me and other people. When I say that I mean whenever anyone earns, wins, or receives something she doesn't she acts like it diminishes her personally. For example, in a couple weeks my boss is taking me and my fellow supervisors out to lunch and my wife acted like it was the greatest injustice in the world. She also doesn't like to let me do the things I like to do or spend much time with the people I want to spend time with...including my family.

So over the years I withdrew into a shell and tried to create a new personality that would be able to please her. It never really did. and I felt empty inside. As the years passed I blamed myself for her behavior and I just thought that if I could change myself more she would be happy. I personally believe that God can talk to us in our minds through the Holy Ghost. One day after she raged against me for something a thought clear as day entered my mind: "Its not your fault." A tremendous load of guilt lifted off my shoulders. At first I was angry with her. She had been abusing me. However guilt still told me that all wives act this way. I tell myself that isn't true. It has been almost two years from that time and I think she has a mental illness.

Since that time now that I can take a step back and see what "triggers" her I can keep her placated most of the time and when she uses guilt trips or rages or both I know its not my fault. However I still don't get to be myself. Last year I started a new job where nobody knows my wife. I have been coming out of my shell at work and I've learned that I like myself and I hate the "fake me." I'm not proud of the man I have become to keep my wife placated.

I'm thinking of divorce. However I feel guilty for "leading" my wife on. She's pretty much convinced that our marriage is going "her"way now and shows me off like a possession. I don't think that she has any idea that the real me is still here.

How do I confront her on this? How do I tell her that in self defense I created a new personality and that I've knowingly perpetuated it to keep things calm? I've tried to gradually unleash the "real me" but I find myself incapable of that. I don't think she'll want to see the real me after all of these years. She gets very mad when she sees me "slipping" back into old habits she thought she trained out of me.

help

She has not been professional diagnosed.but after everything I've read I'm convinced that she has it. We've been married for 6 years and I'm so tired of walking on eggshells.. I want to talk to her about it but I think she would view this as an attack and would pull a major trigger. If I even bring up the subject wrong she may want a divorce. I love her but I need her to get help if I'm going to make it with my own sanity.

any advice?

I think my wife has borderline personality disorder. I would like her to get diagnosed and then therapy. how do I approach her about this without hitting a major trigger?

hello. my wife can't admit she's wrong. especially to me. when she makes a mistake she'll blame me. even when she's hurt my feelings or the feelings of others she just says we're being to sensitive. is this normal? if not what should I do to help her?

I want to hire a reputable law firm to help with debt settlements but i'm having problems finding a bank to be willing to consolidate my debts afterward. What can I do?

I am the head custodian of a school and I have a large bed of of rocks in my grounds. The weeds sprout of that thing like they owned it. I have used a few different herbicides and none seem to work too well. I was wondering what all of you might think? I've tried weeding but with ground is so hard that I can't get the roots up. chemicals are the best route to take.

I'm a Mormon and all of my answers get the thumbs down. Also every time I see answers by other Mormons they always have a few thumbs down.

In the Mormon Church we believe that having faith in Christ is much more than believing He suffered for our sins. We believe that Faith is such a powerful motivator that good works naturally accompany it.

Does anyone know why this is or how to fix it? Its annoying. Before the last major kindle for android update I didn't even need to set bookmarks. Now it doesn't always save my bookmarks.

I'm a Mormon. Everyone says we're not Christian because we have a different take on the Nature of Deity. I want to see how various Christians define the Trinity.

She has not been officially diagnosed but she shows signs of it. Also I don't think she does it naturally. I love her to death and we have been married for 5 years now. But I'm tired of our marriage being one sided. Here are some of the things she does:'

1. I have not been able to share a differing opinion or idea from that of hers for almost 5 years now. She acted all offended and act accuse me of thinking she was stupid. for the last 4 or five years I just don't share my own opinions anymore. Luckily I'm the boss at work so my opinion counts somewhere.

2. She always insists on being right. Sometimes I'll be wondering about some fact or something and she "tell me" what I want to know supposedly. However If I go to look it up she'll accuse me of thinking she's stupid and get mad at me.

3. Because of her I've cut off most of my communication with my family. When we see them we only spend a couple of hours with them.

4. She holds herself to double standards all the time. She always talks about us carrying an equal load of responsibilities. However she wants me to carry the brunt of it.

5. She's extremely competitive. If I win against her in anything she accuses me of not caring about her and sometimes she'll go hours without talking to me.

6. She's bad with money and she'll ask me if We can do an expensive thing. I'll say we can't afford it and she'll act all hurt and then I feel bad because I'm not providing enough for her wants.

7. For some reason she sees the success of others around her as her failures and she expects me to side with her and despise that person with her.

8. I have ADHD. So short term memory is not my forte. Many times in my day I'll forget what someone said to me in the last week. If I forget what she says ever she accuses me of not respecting her and she acts hurt.

9. She expects to be served. When we first got married I would offer to clear the table after dinner. now she expects it. If I wait too long to do it she gets very angry with me and implies I'm lazy. Also whenever she does anything around the house she gets mad at me and acts like I wronged her. I work 3 times as many hours as she does normally and she still expects me to do more around the house(no kids yet).

10. She doesn't listen to advice. and if it comes from me then she gets really mad and implies that I'm trying to control her. But she expects me to take any advice from her as the gospel truth.

There are other examples. However you get the idea. you could say its not as bad as it used to be. However when I stopped disagreeing with her openly she stopped getting mad about that. one time 2 years ago I had to disagree with her and she still gets bitter about it when she thinks about it. I'm tired of not getting treated like an equal. I want my voice to be heard and valued.

I would like her to find it in her heart to change so our marriage can be good. As Mormons divorce isn't a very popular option and the idea doesn't thrill me. I started to feel really down on myself and like a bad husband. but for some reason It dawned on me a few months ago during one of my wife's lectures that it wasn't my fault. She wasn't like this during our dating/engagement. She was the sweetest person ever and displayed none of these traits. between her "fits" she gets really sweet. Clingy even. I don't know how I can be the apple of her eye one day and the next I'm afraid of her.

help. I need soem advice.

Thanks

I'm trying to find a house and get an FHA loan to buy it with. I've learned that the seller can only pay up to 6% of the closing costs. However I was reading about seller concessions. Is that the same thing as seller paid closing costs or is it different and allowed with FHA loans so that the seller can pay all the closing costs?

I'm just wondering. I have a morning glory problem and most of it too close to other plants so i can't use round-up.

My wife and I have had problems having children and we really can't afford the costs of adoptions. For some reason its more expensive than actually having a child.

Anyhow my wife and I have started discussing becoming foster parents. I'm the more hesitant one about it. I've just heard horror stories about it. and then there's when the kids you grow to adore go back to their biological parents. Do the Pros outweigh the cons?

Hello, I inherited a young apple tree when I became the head custodian of a school in Utah. I did some pruning to it in late winter like all the stuff online told me to. It has a lot of blossoms on it now.

I'm wondering when the best time to thin out the fruit will be. Last year the apples on that tree weren't any bigger than cherries. Also when is the best time to spray the tree for worms and insects?

I'm the head custodian at a school and four of my maple trees haven't dropped the seeds from the previous year. I did some pruning on them late fall. Not heavy pruning. leaf buds haven't grown yet either. I've snapped a couple of twigs to make sure they'er still green and they are. I don't know if their infested or what.