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Why cant I make new friends?
My name is Aiden and I seem to have a problem making friends. I'm finishing up my first year of being a freshman at college. For a while now Ive been trying to meet new people and make new friends but ive failed at every attempt. I feel awkward when ever im in any kind of social situation and find myself starting to avoid them at all costs. Ill see a familiar face across the hall and make a 360 just to avoid the awkward situation. I have made several attempts to put myself out there and join the many groups that are available at my college but at the last minute i chicken out and decide not to go to the meetings in fear that everyone will think im socially awkward or that im just a weirdo. I think my main problem is that i have very poor self image. I'm kind of a small guy with a very light light build. I'm not ugly or anything (at least I don't think i am). I guess you could say that im my worst critic. Also i have a girlfriend who is smoking hot! I don't know how the heck I managed to get with someone like her but anyways i feel like im always stuck up her butt because I don't have anybody else to hang with and i would really hate if that started to affect our relationship. I really don't know whats wrong with me but its starting to take a tole on my emotional state. I'm beginning to go through bouts of depression. Sometimes ill even sit in tears feeling sorry for myself. I think you get the picture. So my questions are.
1. Am I the only one going through this?
2. Is this a common freshman thing?
3. What do you recommend i do to make friends?
4. Will I ever have a friend?
Thank you for your comments Praise_him
I just thought i would add that I am very active in church and am actually trying to start up my own praise band and everything. I tried a University service geared more toward people in my age group but it was really hard for me because everyone knew each other. I got involved with a bible study group for a while but it just didn't work out. I just felt like an outcast every time we met so I stopped going.
4 Answers
- 9 years ago
1. No. Everyone has insecurities, some more than others. Even the most confident person sometimes feels a bit insecure in social situations, unsure of how others might react or concerned that they said the wrong thing.
2. Likely yes, to some degree. It's a new type of situation and requires adjustment and some people adjust better than others.
3. Forget about yourself to make friends. Show an interest in others and what "they" are interested in.. how can you encourage them etc. The way to do this is to ask non-personal questions and as you get to know them, ask more personal questions. You may also find it good to focus on people who share common interests. Discuss assignments you both have "what topic did you select for your research paper?"... "how do you plan to study for that exam"... "are you enjoying this course?". You could also join groups based on your interests (e.g.. photography club if that's of interest to you). It's easier to converse when you have common interests. Remember in friendship that you are always trying to find common interests or ways to encourage the other person. Church groups are another non-threatening way to make friends... usually church people are more forgiving of quirks and proactive in making friends with those who are "different" than most.
4. Yes, you will likely have many some day because you are taking a pro-active approach to try to learn to be a good friend by asking your questions.
If you still have concerns, you could always see a therapist to discuss your concerns.
Enjoy yourself, your life is just beginning!
Source(s): lots of life including life at university when I was pretty shy (am no longer but I was then...) - 9 years ago
here's a tip: give them a comment, and you shouldn't feel sorry for yourself it's your fault your not out there. i'm in 6th grade and i only have 18 friends at my school maybe because i'm out there like i say "Hi love the shoes" and they would smile and we would talk the next thing you know A FRIEND! now i will answer question.
1. No your not the only one TRUST ME
2. Yes it is very common
3.Give a comment (nice)
4. Yes you will (if you try)
- 9 years ago
1.you are NOT the only one
2.Depends on the person
3.Try to be more brave and a little more outgoing dont walk away keep your ground
4.Yes i guarantee u will make more if you dont have any
Source(s): Experience - Anonymous9 years ago
Hey man, lots of people have trouble making friends. Its hard to find the exact reason why but maybe how you are looking for them. Try searching for friends online. Sites like www.friendmatch.us are for people to meet new friends. hope it helps.
