wrote another song. any suggestions or comments?

The leafs come back to the trees

Greener each time I pass

And the winter weather must flee

As snow melts from the grass

The birds send calls to their lovers

While I go searching in vain

A cloud, about me it hovers

As I must welcome its rain

But with every spring comes some rain

Though I've found my heart remains

With you, though you're so far away

The sun may set on this day

A cage may rise in the night

Forever my watch ticks away

I fear it may curtain the light

But with every spring comes some rain

Though I've found my heart remains

With you, though you're so far away

Will your heart ache with mine

As love succumbs to the cold?

Together we might write our lines

But I will never be told

But with every spring comes some rain

Though I've found my heart remains

With you, though you're so far away

So far away

Anyways, if this seems like it's any good, but needs criticism, criticize it as much as you want. I'm open to suggestions. and don't say it won't work as a pop song, I know very well it won't. I write a sort of S&G urban folk-pop. anyways, what do you think?