Need some short funny lines about Charlie Sheen thanks?

Give me a best answer?

“You’re just like Bruce Willis — you were big in the 80s and now your old slot is being filled by Ashton Kutcher.”

“If you’re winning, this must not be a child custody hearing. The only time your kids get to see you is in reruns — don’t you want to live to see their first 12 steps?”

“Charlie still hasn’t hit rock bottom. He’s looking forward to it though, because he thinks there’s a rock there.”

“You dropped out of school faster than Casey Anthony’s kid.”

Q: How much coke did Charlie Sheen take last January? A: Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

Q: What's the title for the new sitcom starring Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan? A: "Two and a Half Grams"

Q: Why does Charlie Sheen still think he's "winning"? A: Charlie won the footrace to a bag of coke this morning!

Q: Who will suffer the most financially from Charlie Sheen's legal problems? A: Call Girls!

Q: Why was Charlie Sheens character (Charlie Harper) cremated? A: Because his drug infused ashes have a street value of $500,000!

Q: Why does Charlie Sheen's character only live with males on Two and a Half Men? A: Because in his role, if he lived with a woman, then he would relapse into real life and begin to beat up the actress.

Q: Why is Charlie Sheen suing the Japanese Tsunami? A: Because it's replacing him as the biggest disaster on TV!

Q: Why is Charlie Sheen a spokesman for Hanes underwear? A: Because the time he spends with a woman is brief before he starts beating her up!

Q: Which company asked Charlie Sheen for an endorsement after he was dumped by Hanes following his domestic violence arrest? A: Fruit-of-the-Loon!

Winning