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Should I take my baby to visit my MIL?

Last summer we went to visit my elderly MIL in another state when she was in the hospital when our son was 6 wks old. She was going into rehab after the hospital, so my husband brought home her financial info so he could pay her bills online. His 60+ y/o brother (he is 20 yrs older than my husband) was so upset that he didn’t have access to their mother’s $. He called DHS & the police on me back in our state saying I was neglecting our son & not providing him critical care. He also called the police in his state saying that my husband put a bomb in his car & the cops called my husband threatening to file federal charges. Everything was unfounded & I only had to meet with a social worker for less than a ½ an hr. He also filed no contact orders against us (even though we are 500 miles away). I swore to my husband that I could NEVER take our baby back to that state. His brother is unstable & his mother is still in contact with him. My MIL is now 81 yrs old. My husband is giving me a guilt trip b/c I’m afraid to take my baby back b/c they all live in the same city. I don’t know what his brother is capable of doing if he were to find out we were in the city. He has gone to major extremes trying to hurt us & get our child taken away.

It’s not that I am opposed to visiting my MIL, it’s that I fear for me & my child’s safety. What is a concerned mama to do?

4 Answers

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Let your husband visit his mother without you and the baby. Why risk going through something like that? My MIL has not met 2 of her grandchildren. While I understand that your husband wants his mom to see the baby, she will be ok if she doesn't.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    First... imagine about the actual shown reality that you stay midway in the approach the rustic and she doesn't get to confirm her son or her grandchildren very in many situations and word in case you'll stumble on a particle of sympathy for the lady. 2d, make sure she receives a motel (that permits plenty). Ask her if she may evaluate coming a month or 2 after the beginning because you (and infant) will be feeling more effective advantageous and able to spend more effective time which includes her. more effective advantageous yet, get your husband to call and tell her this... finally, undergo in ideas, family members is family members and she of direction loves your family members. or maybe with if she remains 8 days... it really is totally 8 days, no longer 8 months. each and every now and then in existence we ought to submit with issues we do not prefer to. contained in the more effective scheme of factors it really is basically no longer that sizable a deal. i understand getting over beginning is amazingly puzzling, yet frankly you're being quite egocentric. If she lives midway in the approach the rustic it this isn't some thing she's doing once a month or maybe 4 situations a three hundred and sixty 5 days. So submit with it, be the bigger human being and enable her have some time with the grandkids and her son. i understand i will get a gaggle of thumbs down for no longer jumping on the "all MIL's are evil and may be killed bandwagon"... yet i'm basically announcing, for sure she needs to confirm her new grandchild and it really is only for some days. dollar up and be a grown up about it. do not overlook that grandma won't be able to be round continually...

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Stay home with the baby or leave him in someone elses care. It was your husbands responsibility to help you and his family reconcile and feel safe around each other. since he failed to do that from then until now, he has no right to make you feel guilty for opposing the trip. At the very least, he should make arrangements to keep you all as far away from the offending brother as possible before you make your own decision. His brother made it clear that he didn't want you all around by pursuing a no contact order...that would be enough for me

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I wouldn't go and I would not expose my child to that. There's no reason why your husband can't go on his own. Don't accept the guilt trip he is laying on you. If anything, he's the one who should feel guilty for not protecting his wife and child from his nutty family.

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