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Ca you rate and comment on my new poem that I wrote just now?
Birds of a flock, they gather in droves
Too many at once, they smell of cloves
Droppings all over, splatting the ground
Nothing is hidden but nothing is found
A sudden pop and there is a flutter of wings
They jump up in fright droppinf all their things
Scared and lost, they scatter so quickly
Leaving behind, a scene so sickly
Through the air they rush wild and free
Flying at speeds as if no one could see
Stopping only to rest when they feel safe
To cleanse their body from dust and chafe.
@April Showers - Cloves rhymes with Droves :) but cloves have a odor that was what I was really trying to refer. Chafe and Safe also rhyme :) but not so much as the rhyme but that chafe infers some sort of discomfort.
"droppinf" should read as "dropping" but I think that word is too much like "droppings" which I used in the first verse.
3 Answers
- IanLv 69 years agoFavorite Answer
I loved your poem as you have done it that way. It's interesting to move through the thoughts you have shared. I love reading poem but I'm not a poet. Also i'm not well in critics. Anyway, i would like to rate this work 7/10. All the best :)
- ?Lv 59 years ago
I love the honesty of this poem, which is what poetry is all about.
I rate it a 7 ( in details, tell us about cloves and chafe ). Good job.
