Would you care to comment or critique this poem?

Eva! Wonderful to see you and guess what? I came back too...(Amy) This is dark, as I always anticipate with your work, and gorgeous imagery, as i also always find there. But, is there something angry here? That seems like a departure from the musing, dreaming, creative philosopher I knew.

I am leery of blank and blank and blank lines like your "from want and pain and greed" but this one had a naturalistic flavor, that juxtaposed with some very unnatural but clever lines like "Take this world back to Beggining" that have an almost biblical undertone. Also alliteration for it's own sake can be hammy, but here nothing seems not about the message, so it adds musicality without sacrificing seriousness. I am particularly fond of the sliding imagery that goes from flowers to weeds, from leather to razors, to swords to guns. It never quite settles down until it comes full circle, which acts like chord changes and a resolution.

If this is your homework assignment (interpreting the poem) I am going to be pissed. If you wrote it, it is one of the best amatuer poems I have seen in Yahoo Answers.

I think the big problem here is you're losing the reader.

What do you mean, you want to bury your lungs in the flowers? Like, literally, you want to rip out your lungs and bury them? That wouldn't work.

I also don't know what, "freedom is sliced at by razors," "every advancement is shamed" "shined silver that leads unto death," mean.

And I'm a little confused, is this poem promoting naturalism or anarchy?

Keep working, it's getting there.

Imagery was dark and beautiful all at once. I enjoyed this poem immensely. The only place it broke a little for me was the line with words made all everything new. The all everything crackled in my head a little but other than that its awesome.

Ah, the elusive Evadne returns with a poem that swirls in mystique and hangs in the room like the coming storm. Lovely poetry, I am a humble fan of your work.

Beautiful poem! Even tho' I would rather see "bury my face in the flowers".

There will be no need for swords.

There will be no war. I smile to you! :)

Keep dignity and wisdom as your two primal values, and all will go well.

And poetry! :)

I believe that flowers will be there, in the field forever.

Thank you for posting!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AvG_1...

You know how I feel about your poetry and I cherish your book

this poem is no less than I would come to expect from you and I will not be the one to change a thing about it.

Thank you for sharing it here.

Ahhhh....

I see Genesis to Armageddon as you lay your heart at my feet for examination my friend.

Brave of you.

Where oh where IS your shield of faith to guard it against the devil's spawn above me?

That Is beautifully written

Strong pen, tho. chilling.