Problem with my wife's brother and need a suggestion?

Dude, give that bum 3 months to get out. That is not healthy, and he will sponge off of you for as long as you let him. By allowing his behavior to continue unabated, you are endorsing it and making it acceptable. He's been out of the womb for 40 years, it's time he grew up.

You didn't say why he's on SSI... and i wonder if he has mental heath issues? It's difficult to understand a person's behavior if they have mental health issues, unless we have been there or are a mental health professional. I'm not making excuses for your brother in law, and it would be a good idea if he could start a part time job of some sort so that he feels productive.

He will be hard pressed to find somewhere to live (subsidized housing?) on $750 or so a month. Apparently, he's happy living the way he does, and it seems to me he has been enabled to continue doing so because it was never suggested/enforced that he should get a job. Same goes for the messes he makes... if he's around forty years old, he should be taking responsibility to clean things up as he makes a mess. Not only that, but if he sees something that needs done, why isn't he pitching in? Same reason, your wife/you have enabled him to live life lazy.

I'm on SSI as the result of an accident -- it changed my entire life and i lost everything. I mean everything. I am fortunate to have a space to rent from a friend and since i have recovered fairly well over the last few years, i can help with things that need done around here and in my friend's home. I am quite pleased to do it, because my rent is extremely low. I supplemnt my income by selling small paintings. I am to the point whre i will be seeking part-time employment in the very near future. My friend and her husband have also "paid" me for my help by giving me a vehicle. It's not worth a lot but it looks decent and runs well.

I'm sure that i could lay around in my private space forever and do absolutely nothing with my life, but it's not in my nature. I want to be active and feel alive again....

I hope things work out with your brother in law and that you and your wife can talk with him about his personal life direction, the help you need around your home, as well. If he can get a college degree, then he can make himself useful around the home and even in society.

Personally, i'd give him conditions == help around the house, seek out at least part time work, or find somewhere else to live. That is, if he's capable?

First, there is no comparison between the living arrangements you have with your kids and the arrangements set with your wife's brother. You need to consider your wife's brother a RENTER. meaning he pays you rent to live in your home and that's it. When I rented a room out, I didn't ask my roommate to clean anything other than after themselves. If he is a slob and leaves a mess... he should be evicted. But if he cleans after himself, he shouldn't have to do more. He pays rent. Your kids however are a different story. You charge your daughter very low rent because she is your daughter and she is building her life. You have her do chores because she is family and she should be part of the household team. You make your son do chores because he is part of the team and you want him to learn responsibility and commitment. BIG difference.

Unless you guys need the money, I don't see why the brother should be living with you at all??? He should be on his own, renting a room or a studio apartment as an adult should be and you two should have the house to yourselves to raise your kids and be a FAMILY UNIT. Having extra "baggage" in the family is never healthy... unless it's your elderly mother which is a given.

Anyway... I would tell your wife he needs to move. Otherwise, you don't have much a leg to stand on.

Good luck

Yeah, i'm style of interior an identical boat with my own brother. right here is what i've got arise with. this is not relating to the money it is paid or how somebody gets it. this is a approximately being an lively component to the kin and dealing jointly to get the pastime completed. So. this is large which you enable the little ones stay there, yet wager what they're your little ones and no matter how old, that's what you're meant to do! yet a grown guy? no longer cleansing up after himself? Nah, i might placed a end to that. I had to make a chore chart because of the fact mine might in no way do something except I asked or perhaps then, he's get HUFFY approximately it. So, I made a chart for every day, weekly, month-to-month chores for each individual interior the homestead (grown united statescovered) so as that all and sundry can see that all of us pitch in to shield the homestead that seems after us. i might set some policies approximately cleansing up after one's self and likewise some consequences for no longer doing so. If he's not mentally or bodily challenged, then he's to be held in charge. So, talk it over with the wifey and then call a kin assembly! solid success!

My opinion is why the hell is he living there in the first place? You and our wife have enabled his behavior of depending on others. Bottom line is, charge everyone the same rent and make everyone clean up after themselves.

Your wife is putting her love of money before her family...

The 15 year old is suppose to not pay rent until he is 18, hmmm...