Can the simple words ''by all means'' ever be meant in a condescending snobbish kind of way?

Question

I speak English fluently but some words, I am not sure about if they are meant in a friendly or in a condescending way. This is a person I have known since 2005 who in some context said to me...by all means...send the photo...I went at the weekend to an old Village here in Canada where the early pioneers settled in 1840 and people there still work the fields, work the mill, bake their own bread, make their own newspaper, most of this is done for the tourists and it was fun and very educational and entertaining to see women in hoop dresses and bonnets of the mid 1800's and men doing farm work in old fashioned garments....
Fact is I lost 42 lbs and this person said ''I would like to see a recent picture'' and now I took some photos on Sunday'' and then he wrote..amongst other things..''by all means send it but to me it did ot sound more than condescending. I am sure a lot is in how one says those words, if one sounds keen, but on the other hand one could also imagine someone to say '' by all means come again if you are in the area'' to me that doesn't sound very sincere...If they really mean something in a positive way they would surely say '' Please, if ever you come this way again do not fail to come and see us again, as we would be so happy to see you again and put some more enthusiasm behind some words...it sounds lame to me if someone says ''By all means...I don't know. I am not angry just a little miffed as to me it sounds somewhat condescending to say ''By all means'' it has something arrogant and snobbish about this choice of words...am I totally wrong...I personally believe it depends a lot how a person says those words but one cannot know that when it's in writing.


Can the words ''by all means'' show a show a lack of interest and be somewhat condescending and a bit standoffish or am I wrong...I would like to know, as I speak English fluenty but it's after not my first language so might get the wrong impression here, so thank you all who are fluent and know the meaning and power of words..x

Neil · Accepted Answer

It is difficult to tell without the voice to show how it is being said, but, by the contest of your examples, it does not seem to be condescending or insulting or sarcastic.

'By all means' can mean giving permission to do something:

"May I have another piece of cake?"
"By all means, help yourself."

"Would you like to see the pictures I took on my vacation?"
"By all means, send them to me."

It can also be used in other ways, especially when the voice can show how it was said, but the context can show it as well:

"I'm gonna drink 'til I puke!"
"By all means, go for it. Don't let ME stop you."

"I've always wanted to run naked down Main Street at rush hour. What do you think? Should I do it?"
"By all means. What could possibly happen?"

Mars Mission Australia · Answer

Hi Vera,

I can only speak for myself, I wouldn't think it's condescending

although in context of other things said it could be, depends if there

is basic respect.

I would take that as annoying or condescending in the context you put it in ?

Great Question.

Best Wishes.

Mars Mission Soon In A Galaxy Near Yours..

Source(s):

Studies.

busterwasmycat · Answer

Not really.  Well, anything can be said in a way, in a tone, that sends the message of disinterest or to place distance between speaker and listener.

With written words, you have to be very careful how you interpret things, because you, the reader, are placing the tone, and thus it is easy to misinterpret the writer's intentions.

I don't particularly find the phrase "by all means" to have any intentional overtone simply by its use.  It is just an alternative way of saying "certainly" or any number of other synonyms.  

"By all means" (to me) means "feel free to do that, I would welcome it but the choice is yours".

Anonymous · Answer

Look down on anybody. Me and my cousin know anyone who may be very very condescending and my husband glen stated my cousin stated she used to be very condescending. I agree a Gazillion percent . I dont fully grasp why shes in scholar support if she are not able to aid people the way in which they desired and wanted it. I truly proposal i was going there and had their aid but that wasn't to be. She should get fired shes upset enough individuals and is within the fallacious profession

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Can the simple words ''by all means'' ever be meant in a condescending snobbish kind of way?

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