Do straight relationships really work like that?

Relationships don't work like romantic movies any more than they work like fairy tales. The romance stuff is often REALLY old fashioned.

I'm in a 'straight' relationship. (Actually my husband and I are both bisexual, so I should say 'opposite sex' relationship.) We arrange our relationship the way that suits US, nobody else. Sometimes that follows traditional gender roles, sometimes it doesn't.

So yes, I usually do the dishes and he does most of our finances. Except for my personal finances of course, those are MINE to handle. At the same time he is the better cook and I am the one who actually knows how to program our dvd recorder. When he takes me out to dinner he pays. When I take him out to dinner I pay. When we order drinks I am likely to want a beer while he orders white wine, which is a tiny thing but still seems to confuse the crap out of most waiters. We admire pretty women together, and I am the one who feels no shame at buying a porn magazine.

Anyway, my point is: when you get into a real relationship, you won't be copying romantic movies. You and your partner will just act and do what suits YOUR personality. The challenge is simply to find somebody with a personality that matches well with yours.

Never believe what you see on TV. I'm female and my common-law husband is male, and our relationship is basically how you described gay romance as you have seen it. My man is not feminine at all, which is honestly quite odd as I'm mostly into women. We butt heads sometimes, and argue a bit, but have what other people describe as a healthy, successful relationship.

When he was the one out of a job and I was the one working, he did the housework. Now that he has a full time job and I have a part time job, the housework is mostly my responsibility (though that means it hardly gets done, because I'm a low-energy person :P). But sometimes he still does housework. He also does the laundry, always, and often cleans up when I'm gone, even after he gets off work. I do the shopping, because I work at a store and know what the good deals are, and he gets carried away and doesn't stick to the list.

We've basically figured out what works for us, as individuals and as a couple. Some straight men I know are more the stay-at-home-dad type, whereas some women I know (straight and not) are the workaholic type. There is actually no definitive trait that either gender biologically possesses, it's just stereotypes.

With gay relationships, there doesn't have to be a "man role" or a "woman role". You can have two feminine men or two masculine men in a relationship together. With my partner and I being in a straight relationship, we both have tenancies that are seen as "masculine" but also some that are seen as "feminine" though the later mostly falls upon myself. Many of our guy friends would laugh if they knew he hand-washes our laundry because he is picky and the laundromat machines don't do a good enough job for his standards. But that's just how he is, and believe me he is 100% straight.

Movies and stories will always put men and women into these roles because that is what society tells us is right. It is the dominant ideology that men should be masculine and women be submissive. However i think you'll find a lot of women now, in more modern times, are more likely to want an equal relationship, but it is likely that no matter who you end up with they will want you to be chivalrous and expect you to support them, especially if you choose to have children together, as this is a time when the woman will likely need help, and of course a man cannot carry a baby. It does appear that gay relationships are more equal in that sense.

I admire your way of thinking, relationships should be equal, neither partner should be expected to do something when the other is not.

You should just be yourself completely, that mix of feminine but not womanly. You should focus less on the roll you play and more on the relationship. I hope this helps. :)

Relationships are always hard.