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? asked in Entertainment & MusicMusicLyrics · 9 years ago

Can you tell me what you think of my lyrics please :)?

Verse 1:

When you look into her eyes, tell me,

What do you see?

You’ve told her so many lies,

And you’ve cut her way too deep.

Pre-Chorus:

They say the memories took your place.

That she’d finally moved on.

But you left your fist upon her face,

And you meant it all along.

Chorus:

Is this how you’re going to leave her?

You’ve thrown her to the floor.

She may not be perfect,

But does she deserve that?

And do you feel like a man now?

Did you make your family proud?

You say you’re perfect,

But you’re not worth it,

Worth it...

Verse 2:

You broke her,

But still you need her back,

Because you can’t stand her being happy,

When you’re still stuck like that.

Pre- Chorus:

They say the memories took your place.

That she’d finally moved on.

But you left your fist upon her face,

And you meant it all along.

Chorus:

Is this how you’re going to leave her?

You’ve thrown her to the floor.

She may not be perfect,

But does she deserve that?

And do you feel like a man now?

Did you make your family proud?

You say you’re perfect,

But you’re not worth it,

Worth it...

Chorus:

Is this how you’re going to leave her?

You’ve thrown her to the floor.

She may not be perfect,

But does she deserve that?

And do you feel like a man now?

Did you make your family proud?

You say you’re perfect,

But you’re not worth it,

Worth it...

Outro:

When you look into her eyes tell me,

What do you see....?

Soooo.... what did you like/hate? what can I change? and does it flow??

Sorry I ask alot of questions :)

4 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Im a rapper but and I say those are a very good start. But in most songs they use metaphors or similes if you use that it will sound professional. Metaphors are hard to make up if your not sure about what your singing or for me rapping about. Try these lyrics: You hurt her without a care on planet, your aggresive actions hurt her in ways you cant understand it. I hope I was some help. I am a very good song writer so dont worry about copyright or anything or giving credit go and head and use those lyrics.

    Source(s): My Awesome brain
  • 9 years ago

    I love it!! i write lyrics to and i can see that you worked hard to write this many people can relate to this song. keep on writing you have talent.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Omg I seriously love this.... I'm in a metalcore band and I know mah lyrics <3 Its a tad choppy but thats because Idk the tune you have in mind.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    A tad choppy....but GREAT!!!

    follow ur dreams :)

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