Coming out as gay? How should I do it?

Question

So I just finished my sophomore year in high school, and this other guy I know from playing in pit band for the musicals (I'm always on stage for the musicals) told me that he had a crush on me (he's gay and came out a few months ago). I told him I didn't feel the same way and that I was straight, like pretty much everyone thinks. I'll admit though, I'm really attracted to him, he's extremely adorkable. I texted him later saying I was lying to him and am bicurious, which I really am and that I wasn't ready to tell anyone. He replied saying he totally understands how I feel, because at the end of his sophomore year he was the only one who knew he was gay. I went to graduation and talked to him after and hugged and congratulated him. He told me that he was going to NY on Sunday but we should hangout when he gets back in a week (this was on Friday). The next day a group of people including myself, went over to his twin brother and his house for like a graduation party. People went out on a hike to go out and drink, but the two of us stayed on this bench on the trail. He told me he didn't want to rush me into anything. He slowly inched his hand closer to mine and we held hands. I felt really nice. I told him that I wanted to kiss him but I was so nervous and freaking out, and before I knew it he leaned in and already started kissing me. I felt so right and amazing. We then started to feel on each other while making out, that included chest, butt, and penis bulges. We heard the group coming back so we stopped, he respected that I wasn't out yet. We went back to the house and everyone left again to drink more. We stayed again, but things got more heated. We both felt each other's *****, and stuck our hands in the others pants, We climbed on top of each other and made out pantless, and eventually sucked each other. When this was over, he gave me a goodnight kiss and we went to bed before anyone came back and knew anything. Before I went home in the morning, he came up to my car when nobody was around and said, "One more," and kissed me again. I think he really likes me. The next day before while he was at the airport, he called me and said he would really like to hangout again. I'm also worried if we get to close I'll be emotional when he leaves for Harvard in the fall. This guy really respects me and doesn't want to pressure me into anything. What makes it specially is I've known him for two years and finally am seeing him for the amazing person he is. Because of this, I think it's only fair that I come out to people. I don't like the idea of me holding him back, despite the fact that he says that it's okay and just being with him and knowing I like him has made his summer. I feel like it's also in my best interest to come out. I'm nervous as hell, but I know people love me and I have a very forward thinking family, I actually have a gay relative also and my parents have gay friends. What's the best way to come out to my family? Thanks in advance for answers guys :)

? · Accepted Answer

My advice is just to make sure that you aren't dong it basically with the idea of being with him.  That could be a huge mistake.  He will go to college and you two may or may not continue to have any kind of special relationship.  If he goes and dates other guys there, and you have altered your whole life due to your feelings for him you could develop a special kind of upset.  However it is a good idea to start planing how to come out.  If you have no big problems with the way things are now than take your time, but I wouldn't wait more than a year or two if you think your family will be fine with it.  You said you were bicurious.  I think you need to feel more certain of your feelings for yourself before you invite too many others into them.  Try writing coming out letters but not giving them to anybody.  Keep them well hidden, nowhere anyone would find them cleaning or anything like that.  A week or so after writing one go back and read it.  Chances are that it will not sound exactly right the way you would want.  Write another.  Just keep in this habit for a bit.  It will help you sort out your feelings and what you want to express.  When it does come time to do it make sure you are prepared for any negative response.  Even if your family is great they may still have some concern that you are confused or something, and say or do things that make you angry and feel small.  Know what you will do if that happens so that you avoid any irrational actions.  Your family may need time to handle this.  On the other hand they may not even be surprised.  I hope all this goes very well for you, and I hope that you are not too attached to this guy.  Maybe things will work out great for you, but the difference between being a junior in high school and being in college is huge even though you are not far apart in age.  Regardless I'm sure you will have great relationships if you allow them to happen.  Good luck.

Anonymous · Answer

Ignore anyone who says being gay is wrong because its perfectly 100% normal! If that's who you are than that's who you are and nobody can change it. Sexuality is not a choice its a gift. Enjoy your gift and don't let anyone get in the way of enjoying it. As for coming out I would suggest you tell your gay relative that you are gay and ask them to help you come out about it. Your gay relative can help in this situation you more than anyone on here 
can. Your gay relative has already been through the whole realizing they are gay and coming out thing,also they know you and your family more than anyone on here. If you really don't want to
 tell your gay relative than just tell your parents you have something to tell them and sit them down and say "mom,dad I'm gay." Or whatever way you would like to say it. By the way you typed about your parents it seems like they will be accepting and supportive of this. Hope I helped! Good luck!
Ps: If you want my coming out story,I will most likely be posting it with in a day or 2. So just add me to your contacts and check for it in a day or 2. :)

Anonymous · Answer

My voice is lovely deep, virtually. Proof that this question is stereotypical! Nevertheless, any guy with a excessive-pitched voice could thank their mothers for the trait. I read about male infants in wombs being handled as a overseas object for the reason that of the gender change. I can't consider how, but the mom's physique tries changing the gender, and so forth. (research this considering my given understanding could no longer be thoroughly correct.)

Jungo · Answer

What I would do is tell each person one by one, in person, because it can be alot to accept, others will accept it differently. And if you can't tell someone, if you already told someone, ask them for help.

Though an awsome way to do it would be running around at like an accembly and come out, but I doubt people do that...

? · Answer

You didn't have to give such details.. But yeah coming out shouldn't be hard for you, whereas your relative is accepted and your family is cool. I would recommend telling everyone at the same time or do it with him.

Anonymous · Answer

Be with a girl. This is wrong. If you date a boy, not only is it disgusting, but you will go to hell!

Why date another boy,that's dusgusting and wrong... when you could date a beautiful girl!

And you didn't have to give that much information, that;s a little too much, dontchya think??

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know, I am sorry. But it's all very adventurous.

What about your children? You don't want them? You don't want them to have a mother?

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Coming out as gay? How should I do it?

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