where do you think I can go with these lyrics?

Your first one was good, but needed some help. I rewrote parts of it for you, I hope you like it! Your second one was great!!!

They are hopping stations

While disappearing in the dark

Living life in underground

Not leaving any mark

With no direction to those

Twisted midnight calls

Living life in underground

Really fogs the walls

All those lonely voices

Sometimes sing a tune

No one else to hear them

So they sing it to the moon

Living life in the underground

I'm not alone, and have a song

and I'm attuned, to where I belong

I love to be without a home

and give myself, a chance to roam

And to you, my only friend

I'm makin tracks, that have no end

A homeless man brings a song

His years are long

But he sings out strong

Living life in the underground

From that man, I've learned a tune

I sing between

The train and noon

Loving life in the underground

I'm not alone, and have a song

and I'm attuned, to where I belong

I love to be without a home

and give myself, a chance to roam

And to you, my only friend

I'm makin tracks, that have no end

next one:

The end

All my loose ends

Are tied into bends

An epilogue smiles on me

Go on, it's the end

The end

Many good men

We won't see again

Living our lives, moving on

Go on, it's the end

What do we see on the far lands?

Passing souls take their commands

With ages slipping through old hands

Never to see the same seas again

the first one... i like it! it puts visions in my mind of a man living on railroad tracks underground and he's kind of lonely but likes it. although i would take away the "living life underground" i don't really know how you see it.... a rock song... classical... jazz... punk.... idk. but other than that part (i would take out that cuz it sounds too much like poetry and i can't find a way to sing it unless it like, cuts off or something or maybe 3 beats per measure? but anyways yeah cut it out maybe). its your music so i wont really tell you what to write but i like it :)

the second one... great! it reminds me of an elderly man that was once in the navy maybe... but the only small con is the poetry type thing again. but after reading how you write i find that's your thing and what you like... so it's great, keep it up!! and some lyrics have inspired me to make another song... i write songs and play guitar but lately i've had writers block because i had no idea where to start. i have sooo many unfinished lyrics and/or tabs and chords for guitar for new songs. but i need lyrics first then match the music to it...

thank-you!! :)

hope i helped! -jamie

My opinion? Very interesting, seems more like poetry than lyrics all though I suppose they can be the same thing (Bob Dylan). Out of interest in what manner would these be sung, what style? p.s Thanks for the comment on my question, the song brought back memories of hearing my parents playing it while I was a child.

sure, it is approximately the evil of guy. except, i incredibly doubt that the satan had something to do with the demise of jesus, the one hundred years warfare, the russian revolution, the blitzkrieg in global warfare two, both kennedy assassinations, or the individuals killed at the hippie path. so it have to all were guy's doing. it is a cool historical past lesson despite the fact that.

Your words are very interesting and unique, very hard to understand what your talking about lol xD

But overall beautiful lyrics, I could see you or even myself singing this wonderful masterpiece! :)

But it keeps the listeners guessing what your talking about. :)

Very beautiful. I like the first on Bette than th other but they are both good. I agree with the other user that it sounds like poetry, but song lyrics are poetry so... :) Good job and thanks for your answer!

I like both. WHy don't you combine them both into one song. That's what i would do