Mother is anxious about separation from newborn?

I wouldn't complain. Some women do absolutely nothing to care for their child.

I would recommend buying a Moby Wrap or an Ergo carrier so that your wife can have her hands free and still be close to her child. Of course, this will not solve the issue of her taking a shower... I would give your baby attention while your wife is taking a shower.

Your wife is clearly suffering from a bit of post partum depression. But another poster is correct, that you can take some action. You can make a lunch for your wife in the morning so all she has to do is heat it or just eat it, and you can prepare dinner for both of you at night. You can encourage her to get a sling, carrier, or wrap so that she can carry the baby with her and her hands can be free during the day to do other tasks (although in reality, at 12 days post partum, she should mostly be resting). And you can take the baby so that she can shower, or do anything else.

I cannot give you resources to encourage you to let the baby cry. It isn't really good for the baby, especially if he only fusses for cause. Fix the problem, and he will not fuss. That's what parents do. A baby monitor is not necessary if there are loving parents nearby who attend to the child quickly if he cries.

For more information on normal infant development, you might enjoy ParentingScience.com.

Ok she is absolutely right, taking a shower and letting the baby cry the whole time is a ridiculous thing to expect her to do. Newborns cry because that is how they express their needs. It's only been 12 days! You need to let her settle herself and get used to having the baby. It takes time. I was the same way in the beginning and no I did NOT have post partum depression, I just did not want my newborn crying. And by the way, newborns and babies don't have the mental capacity to get spoiled and be "bratty" as you are suggesting. Her behavior seems normal and she will adjust but you need to give her time and be more understanding of her parenting style.

And I was also like her, I would be so caught up in caring for our baby that I would only eat one small meal a day and that was at night time when my husband got home. Sometimes I would even wait to use the bathroom until he got home unless I just really had to go. It's called being a mother and she sounds like a GOOD one.

I know exactly what you mean. I was the exact same way when I had my daughter. I wouldn't eat all day long...not realizing that I hadn't because I was so preoccupied spending time with her. My husband would come home from work and fix me something to eat. Then, he would hold our daughter while I got a shower.

Try not to be so harsh. She had that little boy in her belly for 9 months. Come home, grab him from her and give him his bottle, tell her that you have everything under control and that she can go grab a quick shower. Make sure to tell her that if he starts to fuss, you will come and get her.

Fix her a dinner when you get home, maybe leave something to eat in a dish in the fridge that all she has to do is warm it up.

Best of luck

Hormones. That is it. maybe some time. offer help with the baby so she can rest. take baby from her and send her off to the showers with the words 'honey, you deserve some time. you are so incredibly special and ........ something sappy like this'. add that you will get her when he fusses. if she still won't go, take the baby and go into the bathroom. have a seat, and hold the lil one. she will slowly break free.

No offense but ur wife is going to make a bratty child, it will constantly cling to someone n o lord the fits it will throw, I loved my new born to death. But if he was fed n changed I sure did let him sit n cry while I made a quick lunch or showered. I knew it wasn't hurting him. If u can I would bring it up to his pediatrician n she may explain what constant holding can do to a child. Sorry but people say u can't spoil a baby..I say bull, my boyfriend is so gullable n my son never cries with me now n the second daddy is home he whines n gets whatever he wants. A newborn can't comprehend that no, but they can tell when they r bng held n when they r not n eventually u will have a baby who can't b put down. N she will make bedtime a night mare for u both. At 4 months old my son was n still is sleeping thru the night (9-8) he lays down n falls asleep on his own at 7 months, our neighbors 9 month old screams all night n they often drive her around the neighborhood n have even slept with her in the car so she stays asleep. All due to her mom not wanting to put her down

Have you offered to take the babe while she bathes and eats? If so, what was her reasoning why not?

You are correct, she does need encouragement and support and If she cannot accept that from you maybe she will listen to her doctor ... I am not saying there is anything wrong with her but she does need to care for herself physically so she can be fit and healthy enough to care for your baby.

As a mother to 2 boys, I can reliably say that babies are mother's first priority, but, from their 1st day outside the womb-not the only one. Mother should take care of herself in order to be able to take care for the baby in the best way. I think that this should be primarily pointed out to your wife-she needs to take good care for herself in order to care for the baby in a best way possible.

Second, baby's are basically very independent and that quality should be fostered and supported to help them develop properly into healthy grown ups. They will need their ability to be independent when they go into society, in order to protect themselves and to bond with other people. If they are "attached" to their mother, how will they make good connections with others-other relatives, future friends, etc?

I am sure that she will get reasonable, in your baby's best interest.

Try to persuade her to let you take care for baby while she does other things. After all, you are child's father and have equal "right/duty" to care for him. When she sees that everything is going just fine in situation when she is not holding him 24/7, she will hopefully become more realistic.

Also, in a time, start spending time with other families with small children, in order to let her see that other kids are doing just fine although their are not attached to their moms all the time :)

I'm not a mother, but I wouldn't have my son(s) circumcised.