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Naomi
Lv 4
Naomi asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 9 years ago

How can I get my biological father to leave me alone? ?

Background: my biological father was revealed to me at age 21 after he tracked me down on Facebook with no regard to my mothers comments that me and my 'dad' had a great relationship and to not cause me pain. He has been overbearing, controlling and constantly manipulative ever since I met him in person. I no longer reply to his emails or attempt to spend time with him. He has 2 daughters aged 14 and 17. I am 23.

On Tuesday I am taking both girls out to the cinemas and lunch in celebration of the elder ones birthday a few weeks ago. I haven't seen him since late December and I refused to do something for my birthday in march with them. How can I decline politely going inside before or after as he takes his attention away from his own daughters and I feel pressured to stay til the late hours of the night. I also suspect he wishes to give me belated birthday presents which I frankly do not want since I feel they come with strings attached. How to I avoid this awkward confrontation?

Update:

Thanks for your suggestions :)

I should clarify i have tried countless times asking him not to try to force me to do things, to stop asking me to go back to his house 5 or more times until i say yes after dinners out, trying to use my half sisters as reason for why i have to do things. Even emailing the half sisters a copy of my email to him asking him to not manipulate me (which they are too young to understand and has nothing to do with them) I feel until he is willing to be reasonable there is no hope of building a relationship.

Update 2:

Thanks for your suggestions :)

I should clarify i have tried countless times asking him not to try to force me to do things, to stop asking me to go back to his house 5 or more times until i say yes after dinners out, trying to use my half sisters as reason for why i have to do things. Even emailing the half sisters a copy of my email to him asking him to not manipulate me (which they are too young to understand and has nothing to do with them) I feel until he is willing to be reasonable there is no hope of building a relationship.

3 Answers

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  • always b natural
    Lv 7
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    When you go pick them up, get there just before you really have to leave to

    catch the movie, that way you have a great reason to leave.

    And when you drop them off, just see them up to the door, and then

    get back to your car.

    Just be firm, but polite. Good for you for trying to make relationships

    with your step sisters. But you will have to be strong where your biodad

    is concerned.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    9 years ago

    You should just have a talk with him and let him know how you feel. You're an adult so having the conversation with him may help to heal your relationship with him but you have to give him the benefit of knowing what's on your mind and what's bothering you.

  • nakita
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    It sounds as though he is trying to make up for lost times. Maybe it would be easier for you to tell him you have plans or something.

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