Man works 14 hr days. Wife at home w/kids and does no cleaning or anything. What gives?

Having 3 kids that age is going to drive her nuts and will keep her busy the whole time they are awake. I work with pre-school kids and 1 adults to 3 kids is the ratio we keep. We have janitors that clean the school after we are done. Things will get a lot better when the 4 year old is in school full days. If they can afford it, having the three and four year old go to part time daycare will help their socialization and will give the mom a chance to be an adult and not just a mommy machine all the time. If she's happier with her life, she'll be nicer to him. If they can also afford it, having someone come in the to clean once a week or once a month might help. If he isn't willing to pay for some of these things to give her a moment of down time, maybe he should cut down his work hours and help more at home. Alternatively, she could get a job outside the home and he can arrange childcare and they can split all childcare and chores evenly.

First - get a vasectomy. Seriously. Stop having kids with this woman. If she's too depressed now - having another child isn't going to help...

Second - ask her to do an exercise...track both of your time for two weeks. Note every day, everything you do and how long it takes...then compare notes at the end of two weeks. Maybe then you'll see why she isn't getting things done and maybe she'll see areas where she can work to get more done. Then - when you are home...find some areas where you can help. Even a load of laundry or two can be very helpful - and you can get your younger ones to help fold it.

Also, the 3 and 4 year old can help with basic clean up...start them young - start them early on chores. They can help get stuff done.

I think he should suggest some kind of employment and look into daycare options. She can get out of the house and have more of an independent social life to help with the depression. She is obviously unhappy and a change might be good. A lot of new mothers get depressed and postpartum depression can develop at anytime within a year after childbirth. If she refuses, and he is seriously thinking of divorce, he should really look into compiling evidence so that he gets full custody and she pays the child support.

Tell her that if you can see that she has made an effort to tidy up then you will help but otherwise she can be the one to work and he will do all of the housework. Make her go see the doctor as it is for her own good.

Your wife has a serious mental problem. Maybe she is depressed. You would need to get intervention to get her some medical help. It is not normal for her to neglect the children all day or neglect her responsibilities and expect you to do them.

I pray that you act quickly.

It's impossible to work 24/7

So...that is just BS ------ understand?

The rest makes no sense.....I think you need to re-check what you wrote and submit an edit.

Let me tell you, with serious depression, getting housework done is very very very difficult. Maybe he should offer her an incentive.

if she realy needs help hire a maid