A married, stay at home mom, who feels like a single parent....?

Please know you are not alone! It's hard to be a parent, and harder to be a homeschooling parent. Even in the best situations, there is little time for yourself. You have to make that time. We can't be martyrs. Please, tune out if you're with homeschooling mommies who turn meetings into brag-fests or competitions. Sometimes even if it isn't really like that, it can feel that way. Please, seek help for the depression and anxiety! See your doctor. This will not get better without help. You'll feel even more helpless and unable to catch up. See a marriage and family therapist, even if he won't go. If he won't go, drop the kids with someone you know, your mom, a church member someone. Let them know how critical it is you go. But most of all, set yourself as a priority for a bit. You cannot be there for your children or your husband without being there for yourself and being healthy first. <3

Sorry, I'm not a parent (actually, I'm 14) but I have a couple suggestions.

For socialization for the kids and support and encouragement for you, maybe try to find a church? I'm not sure of your beliefs, but church is always a great encouragement for me, and my little siblings always make friends in Sunday School.

Second, maybe you could try to hire a "Mother's helper" type of deal? A high school or jr high girl (or guy) that would come over for a few hours a day and maybe help with the housework, dishes, maybe even keep the littler ones occupied while you teach the 6 year old. There's no shame in needing help. There's six kids in our family, and while our house is usually clean and all the kids schooled, me and my 16-year-old sister are pretty much full time 'mother's helpers' - when we're not doing our own school, that is.

Even just hiring a babysitter to watch them for a few hours a week while you clean would be helpful, I think. If your co-op is anything like ours (we're homeschooled, too) there's probably a few high schoolers? One of them might be willing to help.

As for your husband...I'm sorry. I have ZERO experience with relationships, aside from watching my parents'. And I have no idea how often they, um, "do it" in bed if you catch my drift...

Maybe you could try a little counseling? If you can't afford it, pastors often do it for free.

Wish I could help more! Best wishes, and I hope it gets better!

Hon, you're not pathetic. It's hard... and you've kind of got a domino effect going there, one thing overlaps on the other making it all that much harder.

First thing you have to worry about right now is your own mental health-- and probably a good place to begin getting your life in order is getting your house in order.

Kid discipline may also be a problem-- when you rule the house instead of the kids it's easier to keep control.

You and your husband would probably benefit from couseling, too, eventually.

Just don't bury your head in the mess; I know it's tempting because it's so overwhelming... but one thing at a time. Don't expect it to all fall into place at once, but you can take it in bite-sized chunks.

I sympathize with how you feel. My life was a huge mess once, it turned out I had a deficiency and needed vitamins... the point is the solution is out there for you, too, and you can find it but little steps.

You do need to seek help! This sounds like more than just being overwhelmed or having a vitamin deficiency. You sound clinically depressed. I know you don't want to, but if that means putting your children in school for a while, please forgive yourself. We should do what is best in our personal situation. I know you won't like that suggestion, and I know that the users who put homeschooling above your health and everything else won't either, but I think you have to make your health the priority. When you are not well, you cannot effectively homeschool. You could then decide to homeschool again once you are well. See, I have homeschooled and sent my son to school. Both were the right decisions. Next, your husband is not helping you to get well. He is punishing you by withholding affection when the issues are due to your depression. You need marital counseling as well as individual counseling. A good therapist will help you. You are a valuable person.

Well I am no parent, I really have no experience in the matter. But if I've learned one thing from marriage from seeing it in other couples, it's that it's a partnership. You both have to do the same share of work to get things done in the house. Not just one parent is able to take care of 3 small children. Moms don't have the easy job of being just a stay at home mom and as you pointed out your husband brings home the pay check. I think that both parents have to make sacrifices in order to raise their children. Even if the Dad comes home and is tired from work he should be able to take care of some of the home chores. I would talk to your husband and make an agreement on who does what in the house. If he doesn't like the sound of that I would strongly suggest a marriage counselor. You don't want to mentally scar your children with a divorce then I would suggest that would be your last option. Otherwise parenting is a team effort and shouldn't be done alone.

I agree with Mackenzie. Your life is a bit complicated with these various problems affecting each other. You need somehow to find a piece of this which you feel able to get hold of and work on. Once you have seen some improvements in one aspect of your life it will automatically have knock-on effects elsewhere. Besides, you will start to feel more in control of your life and able to work on other parts of it too.

You feel like you are in a mess. If you can work on one part of the mess, the rest will start to get sorted out too.

Getting control of the housework might well be a good place to start. Housework is demoralising but it is a relatively straightforward thing to do compared to some of the other challenges you face. I really like Flylady; have you heard of it? http://flylady.net/ The approach is based not just on telling you what jobs to do but also addressing the reasons why we find housework hard and tackling the attitudes that get us into a mess. I find it quite motivational because it is clear that other people like me have been in a similar place and have got themselves out of it, a little bit at a time.

School might or might not be part of the solution for you. If it is what you need, don't see it as a failure. You may be able to return to homeschooling once things are in order. Likewise, redefining your relationship with your husband could be part of the solution. You need to find a way to be happy and get on top of things for the sake of your whole family.

You've asked this already.

YOU ARE DEPRESSED. Get mental health treatment.

And put your kids in public school - you are neglecting their education, and expect your husband to sit through it.