Which form of adoption is more healthy for the child open adoption or closed adoption?

I have a grandchild who was adopted and though we live 4 hours apart, we are always in contact with mom and dad. We email, phone chat, etc. They've been to visit us and we've been out to their house, just as if we were blood related. My daughter had severe addiction issues and was trying to get sober. She knew she wouldn't succeed with a baby to raise. Her married sister and married brother offered to take the baby, but she didn't want someone that close to her. The couple wanted open adoption for the baby and our daughter was initially against it, but changed her mind when she got to know them. We feel blessed that we have more family in our life and they feel the same way. Our grandchild calls us grandmother and grandfather and our other children are aunt and uncle. Our daughter is no longer with us, so I don't know how that would have worked.

I get irritated when I hear anti adoption talk. I saw so many women in an addiction program with 1 or more children. The kids were back and forth between the mom, grandparents or foster care all the time because mom couldn't give them a secure home. I corresponded with so many couples who wanted to adopt in the US and would have been great parents to those kids.

I am so sad that people think adoption is a terrible, awful thing. It is a beautiful thing. A BEAUTIFUL THING!!!!! Some people would make amazing parents and have health reasons that they can't have children of their own. And there are thousands of children out there in the U.S. alone who, for one reason or another, don't have a family. How can you say it is an awful thing if it builds families for these precious children????

Open adoption is definitely the most healthy option for the child. Children are smart enough to know who their parents are: they're the ones raising them day to day, providing for them, and taking care of them.

Even in open adoptions where the birthparents visit often, they're more like extended family like an aunt and uncle than "mom" and "dad". Mom and dad are the parents at home, the birthparents are birthparents.

Its important to talk to children about their adoption early and whenever it comes up naturally. Never hide it as if its something to be ashamed of, because its not.

Children in open adoptions grow up having more people who love them, have access to their medical history, and know that they were placed in an adoptive family's home out of love and respect. They don't question why they were adopted like so many in closed adoption situations.

Best for the child is no adoption until puberty.

@J, that is a good question, but if you really want to know, post it as a question.

There is nothing 'healthy' about adoption although open adoption is better than closed as the child grows up with information. Closed (and private) adoption is about secrecy and lies.

open adoption is healthier for the child because the birth parents are not some big secret and they grow up knowing where they came from who they came from and know they were and still are loved. Its a bigger blow to the child when they find out they are adopted when they are older because they start to question their whole lives and wonder why and who and where

I can't read all of your question because you don't use paragraphs.

But basically, adoption is tragic. In order for an adoption to take place, a child has to lose his family, and a family loses a child.

There is no such thing as a "healthy" adoption.