Moms would you stay upset with a friend over this, or...?

You are free to decline lunch at her house in the same way she has declined any attempt to visit your new baby. While I get that we shouldn't always do things for people expecting something in return, I would feel pretty hurt, too, in your shoes, and feel as though I had been used. Yes, maybe she saw you as more of a "casual" friend but in that case she really took advantage of you. It seems like she only wants to be friends when it is on her terms.

I would try to get past the hurt and forgive BUT I also would not feel like I had to accept her invitation. There is a difference between forgiving and moving on and being strung along by what my mom always called a "fair weather friend."

It's hard to say, not knowing her. But it sounds like it's harder for her to get around because from what you describe she doesn't have a car (does she?). Also when she had her baby, you didnt, so you had a car and no child so it was easier to help her out and visit. With a child and no car it's probably harder for her to visit you. But that's just the surface that I see. For all I know, she's lazy or maybe a little selfish. But I wouldn't take it personal. You just have to accept your friends faults. Maybe the other friends she's hanging out with are picking her up. So if I were you, I'd talk to her again, stop dodging her.

I would mentally move her to "casual friend" status, and go over to her house for lunch.

She obviously does not view you the same way you viewed her.

People are different, and not everyone is going to treat you the way you think they should. That's just part of life.

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I might add that when I help someone who needs it, I do not expect anything in return other than a "thank you".

When I do get something in return it's a nice surprise.

A true friend wouldn't remember, or bring up all the times that they've went out their way for their friend.

True friends come and go with each other. You sound too needy, which is a turn off for most people.

I had a best friend since I left school at 15 and when I had my daughter at 22 my friend didn't like it she came round a few times I even asked her to be my child's godmother but since my daughter has got older my friend doesn't bother anymore she even got her son christened and didn't invite me I'd say your friends really not worth it you can do better focus on you and your child Hun x

I do similar things with people who I meet, make friends with, and find are in need. I used to help tremendously with a no-strings attached policy. I'm finding that this policy tends to distance friends from us (I feel it too when people help me that I cannot return the favor) and I theorize that they feel bad that we're helping them all the time and they feel there's nothing they can do (or do good enough) for me so they start avoiding me. One guy was a recovering drug addict. He'd turn back to drugs and avoid me like the plague until he became clean again. Another (current friend) is tremendously in debt, was a single mom, got pregnant by another man, married him and moved out of state. She helps as she's able to (very little in my opinion) and asks for help as needed (often, usually give her a babysitting or house cleaning job) but won't come over and hang out just to hang out like she used to when I first met her. The primary success story with a relationship is a friend I met who has a need and instead of helping her just for helping's sake, she did things for herself that I doubted she could do (she's handicapped). She has since moved about 2 hours away from us but we still text and have relational conversations just for conversation's sake.

My theory: She may feel guilty like she's not worthy of you. I become distant from friends who help me that I just cannot help and vice versa. Just let her know you're there when she needs you and continue to invite her to do things together. My friends (and other unmentioned relationships) usually come around eventually and it's a blessing to have them.

I would be pretty hurt, and probably feel a bit used. (A mile? That isn't hard to walk.) However, I think forgiveness is extremely important-more for your sake than for hers. Forgiveness goes beyond accepting an apology. People do mature and the fact that she has reached out since you confronted her, I think it shows that she is trying to make things right with you. Holding on to hurt is holding on to a grudge, imho.

Continue to be cordial but get over it. S.he seems like a fair weather friend so treat her like one. She will get the picture eventually..Don't do her bidding either, if she needs help let her get someone else. But Get Over It

If you don't want to be her friend, don't. It sounds like if she was only a mile away and wanted to see you, she could have walked that mile.

yeah i would be hurt but like my mama says not everyone is like u. it doesnt mean shes a bad friend or thats shes trying to not see u, what u could do the next time she ask u to have lunch at her place, ask her to come over to urs instead. if she does have a ride, offer to pick her up. just somr thoughts