I dont want to live anymore?

Listen..... first of all. . . Ashley.... you are loved By God first and you're mother it is hard losing the love of your life your mother yes trust me I know....Now suicide is the easy way out but your next life will be feeled with torment and pain as well.... you want to see your mother again...hold on my sweet child and wait for. The lord to take you when it is time and you'll see your mother in heaven.....it will be a glorious day..... you are sad ooo child yes I kno... but think about this when you get down you will see your mother again live and well without sickness she is living it up with Christ Jesus believe it baby.... Now you have to stop hurting yourself by overeating and eating the wrong things.... You r true father is in heaven.... go to him and ask. Him to save you to help you to heal your weary heart.... come into your life and make it a new.... ask for help with your relationship with your father ask him to touch his heart... forgive your dad. For his mistakes and forgive yourself..... those girls at school to hell with them and they will pay for the pain they caused you God will make sure of it.... get up and realize you deserve to be happy and do good things that make you happy... don't be down about your weight because the cool thing about weight if you don't like it, you can. Change it yes it might take time discipline but if you want it you can do it you just have to decide this is what you want... do you know why those girls pick on you baby?????? For a number of reasons... one they hate themselves, most of the m are trash and sleep around anyways, some of them are jealous they wish they are big and could wear like you do, some of them wish they could eat and not worry about throwing up afterwards.....trust me...I spent most of my life hiding behind my overly sized clothes because I was bigg too In school I was 5 2 315 and i went to a school where the kids were just cruel, they teased me about everything i mean everything, even the boys, by freshman and sophomore years i was a loner because of my previous school and all the crueltu I had encounter made me to where i was. Afraid to try to be social so i hid out...but u know what I had enough my mom was a real mean b. She degraded me by baking me fat, was mean to me, and my dad sold drugs so he was only around sometimes to buy me stufg so i grew up feeling alone, hell one day i just said **** what everyone thinks and me being big I and all i started doing things that made me happy, I started break dancing and i always had a love for it but never did I do it in front of people because everyone had already made me feel ashamed of myself...but you know what I was pretty damn good, and I started a dance group everyone always kept their eyes on me in the back because they seen I was big and thought I would be something to laugh at...but no my talent outshined the bs and guess what everyone was a fan....i can tell you more and more stories, of peseverence in my life.... the one person that told me I can do or achieve anything in life the one who genuinely loved me was my grandma and she passed also do to cancer so there are so many things that i can relate to you with.... I want you to know that it does get better Ashley it really does.... and you'll be surprised how many people do like you at school and how many people who want to be like you Im now 2 years old and I see people all the time from school that tell me thank you you really inspired me... you really helped me, or even apologize and lots of the cool guys who want to date me...trust me men don't want a skinny minny as a wife so don't be surprised when guys try to.holler later on in life.... and you know the popular kids are usually the teen moms and welfare recipients later on and believe this they doing alot of things ladies don't do to be popular...its going to be alright baby girl don't trip...if you need a friend to talk to let me know I'll set it up okay.... your life is just beginning but you got to take the reins and ride and out....I pray this helps u and you are successful

First of all, I send deeply sympathize your problem, and I am very sorry to hear what has happened to your family. I'm sure your mother was a great woman. At school, you should try to see a counselor. They can really help, trust me, I know. That would be a good option, because seeing that your dad already see's you as a burden, he probably won't be able to get you a professional therapist. But a school counselor will not only help you with your low self esteem, but help they could also help you with your bullying problem. And if your worried about your weight, don't get liposuction. It may be an easy way out, but you'll still feel the same emotionally. I would recommend getting a personal trainer. Wether that be a school gym teacher or one at your local gym. Again, because of your father, getting a school gym teacher would be your best option. You could also look up how to lose weight, and taking those small baby steps. I have listed some sights below. I know how it feels to be worthless, I have experienced the low self esteem myself, and being lonely, and I have suffered through depression. Sometimes the depression, and self esteem comes back to haunt me, but after you talk to people about your problems, and get help, it's less likely to come back and haunt you. Do you have any aunts/uncles/grandparents that you could live with, that care about you more then your father? If so, that would be a great option to turn you. I hope this has helped you, and just know that you are a very strong girl, and it's okay to cry, it let's your emotions out. Stay strong.

When I was in high school I too contemplated suicide. My parents divorced and everything too. I had all the excuses. I wasnt popular. I had no friends. I felt like my life was hell and I was very angry.

I tell you this so that you can see that it is possible to get through it. Your mother told you that you were the best thing to ever happen to her. If you love her as much as you say you do, wouldnt you believe that? She loves you, and always had. Regardless of what you looked like.

High school can be rough, and in our cases, its downright miserable. When you hit rock bottom (which if havent, youre pretty close.... this message is evidence) you know it is time for a change. I am not going to tell you to hit the gym every single day, because I know that doesnt work for everyone, but there is something you can do to make yourself calm. It is up to you to find out what it is. Maybe its just going for a walk? Maybe its listening to music... I dont know what your escape could be, but try try try to find some other escape besides Ice Cream. Do not try to kill yourself. There are so many people out there who are willing to help you through this.

I dont know If any of this helped, but i sure hope it did. Dont make me have wasted my time writing this. ;)

You want to feel good?

Take half of the food you normally eat and donate it to a homeless person, or a neighbor

whome you know is suffering through this repression.

two scores you feel good cause you did something someone needed

(mental health)

and you've eaten half as many calories

(physical health)

Go volunteer at a library, or beach or what ever, I mean you need the volunteer credits for college after all anyhow. Even if you dont go to college, the volunteer work will help your mind,

body and soul.

Then follow anything else written here about some kind of exercise.

You cant stop eating altogether because youre body will go into diabetic shock syndrome.

you aren't worthless. God has put you on this Earth for a reason and you still have yet to find your reason. The girls at your school will try to bring you down because they want you to feel smaller than them. They are just mean people and you should report them to the principal because it is against the law. they can get in serious trouble for that. And for your weight try snacking on healthier items such as celery and apples. Also, your mom is still with you at your heart. She's watching over you from heaven and wouldn't want you to commit suicide. Now, your father doesn't know who you are. you need to get time to know him and show him the person that you really are because I'm sure that person is wonderful. one day your life will be perfect but you don't want to end it short. I hope this helps.

Well I'm not the best person to give out advice but id say go tell a counseler and ask what the next step would be to get in... and I know that I have contiplated death and have just went thru many things and still am just trying to keep my mind off everything with games

Look i know your situation sucks but im getting tired of having this same thing pop up every couple days, your not gonna get the help you need trolling on here. Stop asking the same thing over and over again. You need medication or therapy so get off the computer and pick up the phone. You have asked the same 2 questions every day repeatedly stop trolling and get help or do a swan dive into the asphault either way shut up and get off yahoo, im tired of hearing it.

You need to sit your father down in all seriousness and tell him to please listen fully to what you have to say because you are reaching to him for help and he needs to help you in seeking the right direction. He is as miserable as you are. He doesn't want a daughter suffering like this no matter what you feel towards him. He's in pain just as much as you. Dont just seek it from him, seek it from a teacher, school nurse, student counselor. Life cannot get better until you start moving on this. Forget about the popular girls. Most of us have not been one of them and we did ok.

Don't commit suicide because I don't think you go to heaven for that but I wouldn't know because I'm not god. Listen god created you. No matter what those stupid popular girls say you are all the same in gods eyes. Give your life to Jesus go see a local missionary baptist church pastor to learn more you'll never regret it. And those girls are just stupid theyre just a bunch of stuck up girls who think they're better than everyone just ignore them u can't listen to retards. And if u think about commiting suicide call 1-800-suicide. Please I beg u don't do it. And please see a pastor he'll help. No matter what anyone thinks there is one person who will always love u and that is god. I give you best luck and god bless you and your life. :) and don't listen to cyber just tune him out

That must be really hard but remember what your mom said and hold onto that. Situations are temporary and life wont always be like this. You have to be strong and trust me, life will get better. What do you think your mom would want? To overcome all obstacles and definitely not kill yourself.

Don't commit suicide because I don't think you go to heaven for that but I wouldn't know because I'm not god. Listen god created you. No matter what those stupid popular girls say you are all the same in gods eyes