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Confusing situation...Can you help?
Here's the deal. I'm at Varsity golf practice almost every day with some younger guys on the team. The freshmen get a little rowdy at times and are EXTREMELY irritable. One minute, they're everyone's best friend, especially when the coach is around or even at random times. Others, one specifically, thinks its funny to throw other people's stuff around and laugh at others mistakes, even though he's making just as many as everybody else. He thinks he's IT, like he's the entire team and no one else matters. If someone happens to even stutter or trip on something, him and his cronies laugh it up. I should also point out that it's not just me or another guy. It's to the rest of the team--to everybody else whose older. Some guys take it and laugh it off but I can see that it's bothering some of the other guys and is also bothering me a bit.
So here's the question: how do I deal with someone who is smaller than me, younger than me, and is nice one minute but a complete jerk the next? I also don't want to tell the coach, because (to me), it's a form of ratting, which I absolutely HATE. Plus, it would make me look weak. I want to handle it myself; but, if some of the other players decide to jump in, fine with me.
5 Answers
- always b naturalLv 79 years agoFavorite Answer
l would take him aside, oneon on, and explain that you are a TEAM!
Teams work together, they don't tear each other down. They
work to make everybody the best they can be. They support
one another, and are only as good as the poorest player
etc- you see where this is going. Explain how his actions
and behaviours are inflluencing the weaker team members,
and that he could use his influence positively .
You want to make this and inclusive thing, not blaming or
separating. You don't want him to be defensive, you want
him to try to see how his actions are damaging himself and
the team.
Then see if this helps. lf he is trying, encourage him. Of course,
he will have slip ups, that is natural when you are learning to
be different, use different skills. However, if there is not change
or effort at change, then he should be reported to the coaches -
he is disruptive, and damaging to everyone's placements.
- L&MLv 79 years ago
If you and some of the other older players put up with it, he'll keep doing it. You older guys need to get together and the next time he starts acting like a jerk tell him to stop, tell him to his face he is acting like a jerk. When he finds no one is laughing he'll stop. There's power in numbers so some of these guys that find this kid's behavior irritating need to stick with you when you choose to say something to him. Say, Look we've put up with it for a while but this is not funny. Stop it or quit the team. If he continues after that you'll have no choice but to tell the coach to put a stop to it. If he's throwing equipment that should be enough to kick him off the team.
- tubbLv 44 years ago
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- 9 years ago
I usually ignore annoying people. To me, it's just not worth the confrontation or tension afterward. He's digging his own grave...let him. Try to exclude him as much as possible and if he doesn't get the hint and asks why just tell him nonchalantly. Obvi he's immature. If it is that bad just tell him the truth... Tell him to back off a little bc he's gettin on your nerves with his BS. And if all else fails, kick his ***:)
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- Anonymous9 years ago
so what is wrong in just TELLING him to stop it? he throws stuff - u come and tell him to stop it. he laughs at someone's mistake u tell this is not funny and he is acting stupid. he is doing it because obviously his parents did not teach him any manners. so u be his teacher. if others jump in and tell him the same he will be severely embarrassed and ashamed and he will stop undoubtedly