Why do some senior citizens insist on living with their children and grandchildren?

I agree. I like my kids too much to place such a burden on them. They have their own lives to live and families to raise.

I think it extremely selfish of anyone to move in with their kids.

"Senior Homes" are fiercely expensive (like $30,000 a month) -- unless, of course you are speaking of state-run homes which no longer have much funding (if any), and which don't have enough staff to take proper care of your (hopefully) loved ones.

While it may seem like a "burden" to you to have a senior citizen living with you, it's even MORE of a burden (financially) to put them in a decent home.

You may not realize it, but "senior homes" are a relatively recent thing. For most of human history, if a family was lucky enough to have a grandparent or other relative live long enough, there was never a question about where they would go. It was always to a grown child's (or grown grand-child's) home. And they were happy to have them there. Senior Homes and Retirement Communities didn't even exist.

This new view that elders are a mere "burden" on their families is a new development. Now that senior homes and retirement communities exist, they offer an option never known before. Some seniors (usually the wealthier ones) prefer such living places.

Nevertheless, if the "senior citizen" in your family DOESN'T have the money to move into one of these places, yet PREFERS to do so, the "burden" on your own family will be far more astronomical financially than you can even begin to imagine. (In other words, if you are hoping to go to college, you can kiss that opportunity good-bye.)

I don't doubt that you are not wishing to offend anyone. I just think you don't fully realize what is at stake -- for everyone involved, including you.

I am wondering if you actually know any senior citizen who has ever insisted on this. All old people that I knew when I was younger insisted that they would never be a burden on their children. My own brother and sister-in-law told our parents (when they were in their late 60s) that, when the time came, if either or both needed to be cared for they were to go and live with them. Both said that would never happen and they'd go into a home rather than be a burden on any of their children. Both lived, until the end, in their own home.

A care home is usually a terrible option for all concerned (although it might sometimes be the only option). These homes are soul-less, businesses. They are not 'homes' as we mean that word.

I hope that I never need the help of my children in my daily living requirements but I know that one will suggest that if such a time comes. I, however, will not be insisting and I seriously doubt that you know more than an odd one somewhere who did insist.

It depends on the family dynamics, financial situation, and cultural nuances. Up until about a generation ago, it was assumed that the daughter in the family would automatically take in her aging parents and care for them until their deaths. Senior living centers and nursing homes are a recent thing (since about the 1960's). Because so many of today's women have to work outside of the home, they can't be caretakers. In some cultures ((oriental and Hispanic families), elders are still cared for by family members. One option is for a senior citizen to purchase a long term care policy and then have the option of having a caretaker come into their home. I think a lot of people would rather do that than to go to a nursing home. Only if a person's health is really bad should that be a choice. Those places are pretty grim. My mother developed senile dementia. I paid ladies from church to come into her home and care for her, until it got to the point that they couldn't control her behaviors. (She would try to leave and wander around town). I had no choice but to place her in a nursing home that had a dementia unit. The people there were very kind to her and treated her well. That was over 20 years ago, however. I'm not sure some of the facilities today are closely monitored for patient care.

Most senior citizens do not insist on living with family. Most of them want to be on their own. Those who are ill usually go to a nursing home because the people there know how to take care of them. But seniors who are well but can't live alone are better off living with family they know and who care for and love them. Seniors can be a big help in the home now days when both parents have to work...

I don't know any seniors who have insisted on moving in with their children. In fact I don't know any who have even done so at their children's insistence. I do however know plenty of children who have put a great burden on their senior parents by moving back in with them. And then not even bothered to repay them when they get back up on their feet. But you see, these parents do it out of love, and though a great and lasting hardship they'd do it again because they understand that that's what family does for each other. It's too bad so many in the younger generations don't have or understand that kind of unconditional love. You probably don't believe in the bible either which for tells of this very lack of natural love in the last days leading up to the second coming of Christ.

Children are a burden for parents too. These days grandchildren and children have to live with grandparents if they have no job or home. Conversely, many elderly seniors cannot live alone and cannot afford nursing care, so their children should look after them. It is only fair since they spent half their lives taking care of the kids.

Some people do not like being alone and enjoy their families. Usually who takes care of you better, a stranger or family? To you, you see a burden but was it a burden for your parents to take care of you or love? As for the senior homes, you go and live in one for three months as a senior citizen you will change your mind.

I am seventy and I have worked in them.

I've never known any senior who "insisted " on this arrangement. Most times it is the children who instigate it, either because they want to care for their parent, or because they want the parent to look after the children. My daughter has asked me if I'd like to move into her "granny apartment" for both these reasons. I've gracefully declined. Believe me its the last thing I want to do.

I've no idea of why this arrangement would be " a burden for the kids". Why would that be so ? The seniors I know who do this, end up being like an unpaid housekeeper/ cook / babysitter for the kids. I know who is the burden in that situation, and it ain't Granny !

Nothing is suited for everyone. Each case has to be individual. Some seniors are active and in good health but for some reason don't get along with their family. So are in a nursing home. Some get along well with family but for some health reason are too difficult to care for and have to be in a nursing home.

IF the SC 'insists' and isn't wanted by the children, that doesn't speak very well of the SC. You don't invite yourself to your childrens home if you're not wanted. And yes, nursing homes are not very nice places. But living where you're not wanted isn't very nice either.

And if you're good enough in health to live with your children, why aren't you in good enough health to live in an apartment?

I don't ever want to burden my family. Care centers are expensive. Most seniors like their independence for as long as possible. If a person is invited that is different. Remember many family butt their way back in on the elder when they lost homes due to the collapse of the economy