Atheists: If you honestly had to choose one theistic belief system to follow, which would it be?

Question

Notice I said theistic, so Buddhism is out of the question. And remember, this would be if you HAD to choose. I would appreciate if you did not do any cop-outs. 

I would be a Sikh. They are such peaceful people, and it seems they truly strive to protect the innocent and the freedom of others. Their religion even demands that women be regarded as equals to men! They also disagree with the prospect of violence, even though the men carry around curved swords or knives called "kirpans". The function of these suppossed weapons is explained in the following qoute: 

"The kirpan has both a physical function, as a defensive weapon, as well as a symbolic function. Physically it is an instrument of "ahimsa" or non-violence. The principle of ahimsa is to actively prevent violence; the kirpan is a tool to be used to prevent violence from being done to a defenseless person when all other means to do so have failed. Symbolically, the kirpan represents the power of truth to cut through untruth. It is the cutting edge of the enlightened mind."

In all practicality, there are only two downsides to this religion.

1. All the silly (they are in my opinion, anyway) religious rules tagged on it, but I am willing to overlook that mishap. It isn't as if they stone people to death. 

2. I am relatively certain their god does not exist.

? · Answer

Does pantheism count as theistic? I don't think it should (I identify as a pantheist and an atheist because I don't believe in any deities but I do view reality as a monistic Oneness), but some people do.

If not, could I just be a liberal, non-fundamentalist Christian? You know, the kind who talks about how Jesus was a good moral teacher but makes no comment on his being divinely inspired, makes vague references to a nondescript God, and has never actually read the Bible. That would be easy.

Diane (PFLAG) · Answer

I select the penalty for not selecting...    What would that penalty be?

Stop with the thunder...  My dog doesn't look ferocious hiding under the table with his tail between his legs...     Poor dog, not a fan of thunder....

Anonymous · Answer

Christian, that way I could just claim I accepted Jesus as my savior and all the other rules would be optional, allowing me to pick and choose what ones I wanted to follow and what ones didn't count because Jesus "fulfilled" the law, or it was an allegory or something.

Anonymous · Answer

Whichever one that does not involve me worshipping a sadistic, jealous dictator who would otherwise send me and my family to burn in hellfire for eternity.

Anonymous · Answer

Asatru, because Viking religion is so f*cking metal

? · Answer

None, I would rather eat my own liver then believe in this God nonsense.

Anonymous · Answer

Simple. That of those in power. Why else would I have to choose unless by their mandate?

Fred · Answer

The FSM is the only realistic choice.

Anonymous · Answer

I would start my own cult where everybody worships me.

Lilly · Answer

hinduism, because they like cows.

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Atheists: If you honestly had to choose one theistic belief system to follow, which would it be?

12 Answers