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first date sex? yes or no?
So I am talking to this great, amazing guy that I truely think I could possible marry one day, hopefully soon. They problem is this,, in the past when it comes to sex on the 1st date it always seem like a double standard, if I do then Im a slut and not the kind of girl they want to date,, or if I don't then I am too stuck up and they don't want anything else to do with me, so either way I always need up losing the guy.
So new guy and I are suppost to meet in a wk or two, ( we don't live in the same town and neither can just make the trip on a mins notice) we have talked alittle about sex, he says it's up to me.
SO what do i do? I am scared either way Im gonna lose out, AND yes I know if he leaves over sex hes not the guy I need,, but seriously I have been single for 4 yrs I need to date someone!!!!
3 Answers
- JustMeLv 49 years agoFavorite Answer
First date sex, no. If he feels the same about you (marriage) then he won't just be like "I don't like her because she won't have sex with me." If you guys haven't met yet and you don't know how this guy acts in real life I think that you should wait for at LEAST the second date. If I were you I wouldn't put it all out there because you think he won't like you any more. In the end it's your decision and if you want to give it up the first day then you can but I honestly don't think it's the best choice.
- Paul RLv 79 years ago
It's up to you, do you feel chemistry, do you "click" with the guy, does it seem right, are you ready?
Personally the times I went out on dates the woman generally went by the second date, if it didn't happen by the third it wasn't going to happen. You can let him decide by waiting to see if he asks you, and if it feels right or you're ready, then go ahead.
Or talk to him and find out what his intentions are and what he's thinking. Also, these are special circumstances, the two of you can't see each other on a quick basis so you might push things faster than usual or you might decide to wait.
What I tell people is that if you're not ready, don't have sex and don't be talked into it but if you're ready, you've decided and don't be talked out of it. What's 'ready'? "You're ready to have sex when you want it and you're totally comfortable and trusting of the person you're with."
I've heard that on some TV shows where they pair a couple up for a date in about 20% of the couples they do have sex on the first date.
I met a classy lady over the Internet, we communicated by e-mail and phone for a month before we met in person, we clicked and the chemistry was perfect, if she hadn't had a prior appointment we'd probably have gone to a motel and had sex on the first date. What was her prior appointment? She had to drive her son 400 miles to a motel so he could meet and have sex with the girl he met over the Internet on their first date! (I said she was a classy lady.)
What you could do is, if you really like the guy and would consider it, but you don't want to seem too fast, at the end of the first date, you tell him outright that you like him, and if he wants to go on a second date, if he wants to go to a motel then you'd love to come. (Or you could be cute and say that if he wants to go to a motel on the second date you'd love to go as long as you can come too.)
If he's not experienced in how to make you feel good, I have suggestions below on things to make sex more fun for you.
