Question for those with Borderline Personality Disorder?

Question

I am going to make this as short as possible- I am a 20 year old male, and I was diagnosed with BPD in January of this year, I saw a psychologist who explained it to me, and how it is a disorder that comes, and goes. Do those of you who have BPD, go through days where you wake up, not really feeling all there? Feeling cloudy, and weird, and aggressive. I wake up some days, and I just feel angry, and irritated, where things get to me much easier. Examples- When I got out of the shower today, I was getting dressed after drying off- and I started sweating and it pissed me off. Other things, such as, the way the ends of my jeans bunch up around my shoes, and it just all makes me angry. Some days, like today, I just feel frustrated, and angry, and other days- I am fine. I have done some research on BPD, and saw that you can have frequent mood swings, and can go through extreme moods like this. And the reason, I am not talking to a psychiatrist about this, is because at this point in time, I can not afford that kind of counseling. Anyone with BPD, or knows first handed about this disorder- if you have gone through this, or know that it's related to it, what are things you do to deal with it? Thanks.

Update:

At Annabelle, Thank you, I am well aware of everything you said. If you reread a little better, it says those are examples- I really can not explain myself well enough on here, but maybe you are right. It is hard to explain every little aspect and detail of my emotional state on here, so maybe it came out wrong. Thanks again, smart ***.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Wow, BPD is one of the toughest Dx out there. You may even have a hard time finding an MD/MSW or counsellor willing to take you on.

You are right: you'll have good days and bad days. The best advice anyone can give you is to learn to live with it. Learn to work around it. Don't be around 'regular' people when things are going bad. Those are the days to hang out with your friends, support group or just chill with some music or gaming.

If you get this next part, things will go better. It is YOUR job to make life easier for people around you when you are down. That sounds the opposite of what you'd expect. You'd think, I feel awful, someone else should be helping me feel better. It's the opposite. If you drive everyone away when you're in a bad frame of mind there won't be anyone around when you feel better. Got that.

I know the last part, feeling down/feeling better, sounds more like bipolar but we both know what we mean by bad days.

Finally, BPD's are almost defined by a pathological clingyness towards other people. Don't leave me! I don't want to be alone! This can make you manipulative. Threatening to commit suicide just because you get attention, a 911 call, a ride in the ambulance. The whole show is around you, the star. But as above, over do it and you drive everyone away.

You really have to find a support group. Make sure it's actually supportive. The label of the group is less important than the support. Mixed groups with schizophrenics, BPDs, bipolars tend to work quite well with a tough but wise group leader.

You have to be proactive. Get the help you need; join the groups you need to join, then be sure to attend faithfully. Don't sit by the phone pining away for somone to call while thinking that call is their way of showing they really care for you. Make your own calls.

Best of luck. You'll need it.

Annabelle Granger Amnell · Answer

um..getting mad bc you are sweaty or bc your jeans bunch up around your shoes has nothing whatsoever to do with being borderline. 

bpd is a disorder that deals with emotional regulation, or lack thereof, black and white thinking, and interpersonal relationship difficulties. uncontrolled anger can be a part of it, but it tends to be expressed towards other people..not towards your jeans or being sweaty.

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Question for those with Borderline Personality Disorder?

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