IF OBAMA WINS ANOTHER FOUR YEARS, WILL IT BE TOO LATE?

Question

I was riding with my father (yes, I know, I just asked a question where I was riding in the car with my mother...deal with it.) and we got on the subject of the upcoming election. I whipped out my BBQ theory of elections for my father's consideration.

According to this theory, every Presidential election of the electronic media age (beginning with Kennedy's election) has been won by the candidate who comes across as the person one would be most inclined to invite over to your house for a barbeque (as a guest! Not as the main course!). To conduct this test, you have to throw out everything you know about a person's history and politics and base your electoral prediction purely upon the way the person carries himself, his mannerisms and personality.

My assertion is that the more appealing person, the person who seems most "normal", wins every time. Hell, you might despise George W. Bush (like I do), but you have to admit...if you had a barbeque, you'd invite the Bush-type-character in your neighborhood over to your house for a party before you'd invite the John Kerry or the Al Gore type. Right? The George W. type would ***** about his wife and talk sports and tell dirty jokes, and then volunteer to say the blessing when the ribs, steaks, and hamburgers were ready. Al Gore is like a humanoid cyborg, and Kerry...he'd be like the neighbor nobody talked to because he was so standoffish.

So according to my barbeque test, Obama wins easily over Romney in the coming election. It's over. It's a done deal.

I told my dad my theory, and he said, "I hope you're wrong, for the country's sake."

I said, "Well, the good news for Republicans is, if Obama wins another four years, they're a shoo-in to win in 2016, because Biden can't win the Barbeque Test against very many people."

And my dad said, "I'm afraid by that time, it'll be too late."

Slightly disturbed, I asked, "Too late for what?"

My father then went on to explain how four more years of Obama will completely, utterly destroy the United States.

So tell me, Republicans...will it really be too late in a couple of years? Will four more years of Obama really wreck the country beyond anyone's ability to repair it? Will we cease to be a country of any consequence if the Democrats get the White House for four more years, such that nothing will ever be able to resurrect American influence again?

Thank you for your hyperbolic opinions.

-Occulty

Beasticus Tofudii · Accepted Answer

I remember when I first went off to college in 1992.  My new roommate was just convinced that America was going to be destroyed because Clinton beat Bush I.  Like Hannah says, this crap has been going on for decades.  

America wasn't destroyed by the civil war and it wasn't destroyed by the Great Depression.  Two world wars didn't destroy it.  It wasn't destroyed when the slaves were freed, or when women and African Americans were given the right to vote.  And it will certainly survive Obama.

Anonymous · Answer

First thoughts were I wouldn't have the Obamas around for a BBQ as they look like they have been over indulging in the rice and peas, last time I looked they were developing one of those shelf @rses, she is supposed to be fit but what about the @rse?.......... And there is the issue with her dung hampers to consider.

They sold everyone down the river already unless you are one of them elites dear 'culty you looker you..... :D

EDIT To be honest they creep me out, always did, and the voters make my toes curl, I wish you all better of course, and they are ***** here in Blighted too.

Richard · Answer

I sort of agree with your father, except I think the U.S. is already beyond salvage. Obama isn't entirely to blame, but he shares a great deal of the responsibility. And the U.S. isn't going to simply collapse one day as a result of one election, but the U.S. is in steady decline already and nobody seems to understand why or how to stop it.

I totally agree with your BBQ theory. Nobody seems to care what laws a president is likely to pass or which wars he is likely to start, they only care about voting for the cool kid.

? · Answer

Ogawd.  Now I'm worried that I may be the GWBush type person in my neighborhood!  Egad!

? · Answer

Of course not.  
This is just another instance of "The sky is falling, the sky is falling."
It happens every election.

John · Answer

Way too much to read.

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IF OBAMA WINS ANOTHER FOUR YEARS, WILL IT BE TOO LATE?

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