My daughter whines excessively.....and she's 11!?

Question

My oldest daughter cries and whines over every little thing. She can't find her lip gloss, she whines. Doesn't get her way, cries. Look at her with a stern face, cries like the world is picking on her. She is the epitome of a drama queen. Though she can be very funny and outgoing, has trouble keeping friends.  She hasn't hit puberty yet. And she gets plenty of rest. I am thoroughly frustrated. She's always been a sensitive child. But it seems that her tears are incessantly flowing. Help!

Simon · Accepted Answer

Being stern isnt going to help, instead try to be understanding or funny. When you are that age it is easy to feel like the whole world IS picking on you because your own view of the world is relatively small compared to an adults, especially if shes only lived in one place her entire life or similar. 

Also she is probably checking where the barrier is. If you give in to her crying, then she will do it again because she knows it works. However if you just say no but try to come with other suggestions it will be much better.

Liana · Answer

My own 11 year old sister is like this, and I think the reason is because she wants attention. She whines constantly, is mean to the littler kids in our family, and can just be a brat. It's a stage that most 11 to 12 years olds go through and will (probably) get over. Some ways to help her:

~Take her out on a ''mother-daughter'' day once in a while. Some ''extra'' attention never hurts and usually helps!

~Put encouraging little notes in her backpack or other place she's likely to find it.

~Have Heart 2 Heart talk to her about her tears. Be gentle and understanding and explain that she needs to find other ways to express her feelings. Buying her a diary might help too.

~Don't be mean! Nobody ever likes a mother who yells or is mean. Trust me.


She'll get over it soon, even though it might not seem like it. And even though she hasn't hit puberty, she still changing in a lot of ways, emotionally and physically. Remember: Love is the most important thing right now!

Indulging in SA · Answer

You may need to take her to a family counselor, and also talk to her teachers and see what type of student she is. There may be more to her whining, of this doesn't get resolved, she's going to alienate herself from her peers leading to other complications. And also you need to address it so your other children won't behave in that manner.

I hope everything gets better for both of you.

Alivia · Answer

she wines because she wants to spend time with you or there is a major problem. solution is to send her to the school counsuler

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My daughter whines excessively.....and she's 11!?

4 Answers