I'm worried my friend is going to cancel!?

Question

I am holding a memorial for the love of my life, who was also my best friend who died unexpectedly last June. I was unable to attend his funeral at the time. I have been in mourning ever since. I am seeing a bereavment counsellor at the moment to help me through my grief. Through her help I have organised a memorial which will be held outdoors, with the release of a sky lantern, music, and picnic afterwards. I only have two friends coming to this. One of whom rang me this morning, but I missed her call. I am now worried that she is going to cancel attending the memorial. If she cancels the other girl will too as it is unlikely the other girl will come without her there. So that means there will be no memorial for him. She knows it is a special day as me and him first met on that day a good few years ago. If I hold it the day after it won't have the same meaning. I am just so very worried this is why she is ringing me. I called her back but got no reply, so I have left a text message for her to call me when she can. 

If all of it goes pear shaped. Is there any other way I can hold a memorial, something special that I can do just in case she cancels? Have you held a memorial for a loved on your own? I would be interested in any ideas. Thank you
Genuine question, so please genuine replies only,

libralassxx · Accepted Answer

What you are doing in your emmorial sounds lovely.
Each year on my mums birthday and passing date myself and my sisters and out children always get together for a nice meal.
I really hope your friend doesn't cncel. 
I am sorry to be blunt but if my friend cancelled on something that important to me I wouldn't contact her again.

Hope it goes well for you, and I love the chinese lantern idea.
I am a spiritualist and do mediumship work, you do know your lvoed one is watching down on you all the time.
I get the feeling it wasn't his time to go?

But anyway, big hugs and hope your friends attend

Dan · Answer

Don't forget a memorial is something put in place to 'remember' someone.  You don't need somebody else there for you to remember him and celebrate his life.  I think you should quickly plan a 'plan B', one where you can do something on your own, then ring her back and find out what she was after.  All in all the memories you have will never leave you and that's really is all you need.  God's honest truth the only reason you feel you need to have an event is because of the strength of the pain right now, once you come to terms with it, you won't need to hold a memorial again, you will be happy just to have the memories, you'll be fine!

mcraney · Answer

shes taking good thing about u. she ceremony now thinks that to u, she is the clarification u prefer to stay. shell do watever she needs at the same time as she needs because she is acquainted with u wont say something. attempt to discover different associates, she isnt sumone i'd prefer to cling with. with all appreciate.

♠ Merlin ♠ · Answer

when my (very much loved) gran died, i went to her funeral
it was awful, panic attack, ran out, loads of people there i didnt know blah blah blah

i wanted a special good bye
one just for me

so of course you can have this on your own
in fact, i much preferred it
that way, its all about you, and your loved one
not about flakey friends or their needs or wants

sounds daunting? its not
you will soon feel an inner peace and be glad its just you

**** · Answer

You can only expect to rely on yourself!  That is life I am afraid.  If you want to go ahead with it, do so yourself, you can still make it special and meaningful without having people around you.

P.S. Sorry for your loss.

Anonymous · Answer

This "memorial" isn't for your friends.  It isn't for the deceased.  It's for you.  If you must, have it by yourself, for yourself.  Invite his relatives and friends too.  Explain the meaning of your service to them. Time will heal you.  Good Luck

Trending News

I'm worried my friend is going to cancel!?

6 Answers