How to effectively stop a two year olds bad behavior while driving in the car?

A good behavioral program focuses on making the behavior not rewarding, as well as giving alternate behaviors for them to fall into that they can't do if they're doing the old behavior. For instance, if you want a dog to stop jumping on someone, finding a way to make jumping not rewarding and also teaching the dog to sit down when greeting people put together will fix the problem faster than just punishing.

She's gagging herself with her hands? If that's the case, I would warn her if you start hearing gagging, and then pull over if it continues. Then I would put something on her hands that would make it more difficult for her to gag herself (puppets for instance, mittens, etc.) and use the mitten clips to clip it to the end of her shirt (long-sleeve if possible.) Or even tape them in place if you have to. Basically like those baby-shirts that fold over the hands but something too large for her to fit down her throat.

I would also get something that tastes nasty and put it on her hands. Thickly. When my daughter was little she hated the taste of purell, but we had a rash of dangerous flu virus outbreaks and she simply had to have a disinfectant on her hands from time to time. There are taste deterrents on the market for dogs that are safe for kids as well, but if she has any open sores on her skin it could hurt since many are alcohol based. We used to put Bitter Apple Spray on kid's hands if their dogs were chewing on their hands (like puppies) and that stuff tastes really nasty, so I KNOW it's safe and would try it in this situation to discourage her.

I've known some moms who got their kids to stop sucking on their hands by putting mittens on them from the get go. The hands are easier to suck on and feel better than fuzzy mittens.

It's probably because she's bored, but it could also be because she's feeling car sick. When I get car sick I salivate a lot, and sucking on my fingers used to help when I was a child. If that's the case, I would offer her something safe that she can suck on or eat. Like yogurt drops. Also giving her something to eat/drink will give her something she can look forward to in the car. Make sure these are small things though, there are accounts of toddlers choking to death on a piece of apple for instance. But pick things she normally would NEVER get. For my kids that would be yogurt drops or small cookies. They are only for going in the car, and they really look forward to that.

If it IS boredom, then you might want to try things like a portable DVD player, CDs with stories and fun music, singing to her, stickers she can put on the window and move around if she's close enough to the window (like window-clings, though I'm not against real stickers and just cleaning them off once in a while). Again, these need to be things she doesn't get ANYWHERE else. For instance, if she gets Disney movies at home, then a Disney song CD might work but it would be better to go with something non-Disney that is novel.

These three links are CDs from old records that I grew up on and that my kids listen to in the car. This time of year my 2 and 4 year old really love Halloween CDs as well, so I've linked to some that I like (the 4th I got before the release, it's again an old record I grew up on and my kids love it.) 5th is the old classic Haunted Mansion record put on CD. I'm also always picking up toddler-CDs and songs from second-hand stores or when I see them cheap. I like Kindermusik, developmental songs, and any nursery rhyme things, so do my kids who start singing with me, so it works to keep them entertained.

I agree that you shod immediately pill over when you hear her start to gag herself. I would also agree that a smack on the pamper would probably get her attention and and let her know you aren't going to tolerate that behavio. I'm sure you have already done everything else and it isn't working. It's not like you can ground a two year old and putting her into timeout isn't very effective if you don't do it AS SOON as they commit the offense they are being punished for.

Try one of those learning toys with buttons and sound. Then have another toy of similar function right by her car seat for when she drops the first one on the floor. Another option would be her favorite show on DVD, played on a portable DVD player which is secured to the back of the head rest in front of your daughter.

My son is 3 1/2 and is happy with toys, snacks, or even a Parents magazine while we're in the car.

I totally agree with everything evelyn said. There is never a need to get physical with a child and smack them. Anyone who does this to their kids just doesn't have the brains to understand that scaring and hurting a child does no good and there are other, more effective methods to teach a child like what evelyn has suggested. All of you need to get a heart and some patience. They're just kids and your only teaching them that physical violence is ok and to fear you not respect you.

I would have to agree with Evelyn. You should warn her before you leave as well or leave her with a sitter and before you get into Your car explain to her she can not go because she was bad in the car. I have two toddlers, they may seem young and innocent but she knows what she is doing is not ok. Maybe if she sees mommy drive away without her it will have a lasting impression that if she wants to go she must be good. I also think it will pass. My little ones went thru many stages that I just had to Let them go thru and it is hard but things will change. Good luck!

If no one is around you slam on your breaks. You should never turn around and punish a child while driving. If you want to punish her you need to pull over on the side of the road to do so. Also this is the stage when spanking is most effective, despite what some idiots want to say. A spank is just a smack on the butt. If you do it right it won't hurt the child. It just startles them and smarts for just a second.

pull over, get out and spank her bum. It might seem extreme, but misbehaving in the car is a HUGE NO NO!

And if she asks to go somewhere fun say 'No, we're not going anywhere because you don't know how to behave in the car.' And after a few days of this before you get into the car remind her that if she is naughty in the car again, you will not take her out anymore.

She is probably enjoying the sense of control she feels, either because you react or because her body reacts directly to her behavior, or both. Either way, it's part of her natural progress of development as a person. When she throws up, do you clean it up by yourself right away? I would suggest finding a way, either by making her sit in it for a while (annoying for you to hear her complain, and possibly damaging to your carseat, yes) or have her take part in cleaning it up. If she feels the burden of the natural consequence, you can then remind her of it in the future as a preventive measure. You might also try dressing her in outfits that she likes, thus adding to her motivation to keep it clean. She's likely just exploring her body and her social influence. Help her learn that this is not desirable by making it undesirable. This also means less of a reaction from you, if that's part of her goal.

Warn her when she starts that she'll be the one cleaning up the mess. Then, if she pukes, pull over, hand her some tissue paper, and tell her to get cleaning. I had issues with my kids puking when angry (a helpful cousin of theirs taught them how), and it only took them cleaning it up once to get the point. It also helps if you are really grossed out while she's cleaning it! "Ewwww! Nasty! Look at that!"

Put some acid in a squirt bottle. When your child misbehaves, spray acid in its face. You can safely do that from the driver's seat at no danger to you, and your child will stop whatever it is doing, immediately.