How to confront my wife?

The best way to attack this is head on. Your wife gave you reason to doubt she was being honest. You have to get to the bottom of this, even if that means she finds out how you know.

As a therapist I would suggest that before you confront her you sit down and think of what you will say and do after you hear what she says. Another suggestion is to get her off guard, this can be done by waking her from sleeping. Most women who cheat have thought it though, all the way to what to do or say if caught. However waking her will cause her to be off balance. Wake her, tell her you know she lied and that she has been spending time with this co worker. You will be able to tell right away if she cheated. She will be scared and you will see it in her face. She will then pause and just look at you. After that she will be dismissive "your crazy" funny thing is she won't deny it unless she hasn't cheated. The reason is women have a need to know how much you know before they really say anything about the situation. She may simply say "I not talking about that now" anything but no means she is doing more then she should.

Like I said you have to think about what your going to do, its best to completely remove yourself and go for a period of 10 to 14 days with no contact with her. This will allow you to assess the situation without her mess in your head confusing or enraging you.

Good luck

Ask your wife to go to counseling with you. Explain that you are feeling insecure in your relationship, and think you'd benefit from having a safe space in which to discuss that. Reassure her that you want to stay married to her, and that you care very much for her, but that you need some help in expressing your feelings. If she won't go, you should go on your own, and discuss your suspicions and actions with a therapist.

If she does go to counseling with you, explain to her that you feel threatened by her relationship with her co-worker, and that you fear something inappropriate may be starting. Bring up the text messages again, that you feel they were more intimate than is totally appropriate for a married person to be exchanging with a friend. Perhaps, she will be more honest with you, when there is a therapist present. If she insists she hasn't done anything wrong, and that you're being paranoid, ask her direct questions. On the night she went out with her friend, how did she get to her friend's house? If her reply is not consistent with the GPS, you should then tell her that you do not believe her, and that you're having trouble trusting her. If she still will not be honest with you, you need to discuss with your therapist constructive ways in which to confront your wife.

I agree that the GPS makes you look crazy and controlling, but I understand why you did it.

Sorry this is happening to you.

For whatever it's worth, you can track her location via the cell phone. This is all done online with your phone carrier. All you do is register it.

Also, in California there is a tracking system for cars similar to Lo-Jack which can tell you where a car is at all times. Lots of companies with freight trucks use it to track employees.

If you don't want to say you put a GPS on her car, this is a good option.

I do however recommend counseling because it sounds like you're in the dark about what is wrong in your marriage.

Ok this is what you do, give her enough rope to hang herself, do nothing for the moment, but if she is up to no good then she will fabricate another excuse, you then set the gps tracker again in her car and wait and see what happens,, then is the time to strike if you find that she has lied again..

1. Send flowers to your work and say they are from the one who loves you. See if she calls you.

2. Next time she has to go out for work - tell her you would like to join her. See how she responds.

3. Next time she is out, call her and tell her you are right around the corner and want to meet her. See how she responds.

4. The next time she has an outing to go to = tell her you have a party to attend in Oxford and see how she responds.

5. The next time she 'goes to her friends house' - show up at work or head to Oxford - once you see her car in the driveway you can choose to walk up and approach or leave and move on - your choice

I think u should just come out n say it. She already knows u went through her phone n after the questions she may think she got away with it. U should just be honest. But before u do just be sure ur prepared for the answer that comes with it cause everything might change after that one moment.

Both men and women have cheating tendency.

In your case, decide whether to continue your association with your wife or to divorce her for the better.

I agree with Stuart and suggest you tell her about te GPS. At least there would honesty on your part before any counceling.

1

Suggest couples counselling because you are losing trust in her. Ask her if anything's happening. If she lies hold it against her later.