my toddler is acting up since i brought my newborn home a week ago and?

I have a 2year old and a 5 month old and I too had similar problems to you. My 2yo had slept through since 16 weeks, had not really had a tantrum and had always been a gentle girl. Overnight she changed. Woke 1-2 times a night and even refused to go to bed for a short time. She would poke at the baby's eyes, grab her run round her so close that I thought she would fall on her. I put up a travel cot for the baby to go in throughout the day but toys of all descriptions got thrown on to her. I got very frustrated. We tried the naughty/thinking step and walking back to bed in silence (super nanny style) but she just laughed at me. We read about refurberizing which is effectively controlled crying so I will probably be torn apart by other readers but we had tried everything else. We put a stair gate on her room and left her for 5 minutes. When we went to her she got straight in bed and went to sleep. We did the same in the middle of the night with the same response. After 3 nights our little girl had returned to her normal self. As for the daytime, I tried not t tell her off as I felt sad for her. Don't get me wrong I was enraged by her behaviour but telling her off didn't work and just made her look really sad, like we'd pushed her out. Instead I would set up a task for her, so if the baby needed feeding before I fed her I would get play doh out for the older one. I would lay the baby on the floor beside me whilst playing bricks or cars with the older and if I cuddled baby my older would sit beside me the otherside and have a cuddle too. If she went to hurt the baby we would suggest what would be a nice thing to do instead. 'don't hurt her, why don't you get her a nice teddy to cuddle. And all our family and friends made a huge fuss of the older instead of going straight to baby. I also brought a doll so she could mimic what I was doing. She still has times of being a bit heavy handed but she is generally very good with her sister now. It does get easier.

this is all fairly standard - the usual analogy is to think how you would feel if your husband said 'I love you so much I'm getting another wife so we can have even more fun'.!! Not the same of course, but to a two year old it is.

she is behaving like the baby to get the same attention that the baby does. The only cure for this is time and patience; stress the 'big girl' thing, help her to interact with the baby under supervision and give her lots of attention when the baby is asleep.

with two kids 2 years apart you have signed up for some disturbed nights. That's how it is.

good luck. If you think this is tough, remember you'll have GCSEs and A levels at the same time... :-)

Its hard yes but I have a 3 yr old and a 4 month old and my son was not happy about a month after baby was home, they are use to u and only u. I had my son help with diaper changes help hold her and so on. He still gets jealous its normal for all kids if u can get her a gift or something. With my son I just take him outside, she could be acting up cuz shes bored too. Go for a walk do something fun. Ull get thru it I promise good luck

Basically she is jealous of the newborn, she was used to getting all of the attention and now the newborn has come along and now she's not your main concern...

What you should do is maybe tell her that she can't play with the newborn if she doesn't listen, or just take away some of her privileges like toys and maybe she'll catch on.

This is completely natural, so don't worry. Generally a young child especially is very jealous of a new baby sharing the love and attention. They are used to being the only one you take care of and they are not prepared to give that up. They are bound to except it soon as young children adapt quickly.

The best thing to do is to make sure you spend lots of time with them as well so they don't feel unloved. Maybe get them involved with the baby. You could get them a doll and let them copy you so they feel like a Mum to. I know that is what my own mother did and my sibling stopped being jealous very soon after.

I hope my advice helps you and everything smooths out soon xx

Best wishs

Try the time out technique.

1. When he misbehaves, get down to his level and in a firm authoritative voice (without yelling) give him a warning. "You do not (insert behavior). If you (insert behavior) again and you will go in time out."

2. If she does it again, place her on the naughty chair. Get down to her level and explain why he's on the naughty chair. "(Insert name), you are placed on the naughty chair because you (insert behavior) when I asked you to stop. You will stay here for X minutes." 1 minute per year age. 4 year olds gets 4 minutes. 2 year olds get 2 minutes.

3.If he gets up then walk him back without giving him eye contact and reset the timer until he stays there for X minutes. Reset the timer and he will have to do X minutes over again.

4. If she happens to lock herself in a room while getting up from time out, wait until she comes out and once she comes out, immediately place her back in time out.

5. Once X minutes passed, come back, get down to his level and explain why he was placed on the naughty chair, you were placed on the naughty chair because you did not listen to mommy when I asked you to stop (insert behavior). What do you say?" If he does not apologize, he will not get up and he will do the naughty chair again and you repeat the process. Hug your child and never mention this behavior again.

Here are videos on how to do the time out correctly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2NWl-nWQwE&feature...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvnhniamk_E&feature...

Just give him a cabbage to play with