move or don't move?

MOVE...I am usually slow to decide but this was an easy one.

Any place that has stable staff like you mentioned has got ot be great!

He'd be so close.

The other family are ok which is great & 1/2 isn't so bad & an hour isn't either.

less expensive is great!

I am so cautious when making decisions but if I were you I would move him closure. Everyone should be so fortunate to have an in-law like you.

If half the family approves of the move, and it is cheaper for a more improved room, I would

say, go for it. Getting more for his money would be an improvement to his life. Now how

about the meals? Are they full meals or snacks. Do they get fruit every day. And what about

pill dispension. Is someone in charge of that, to eliminate mistakes. Some places have the

overseeing of an RN. But also many places can't afford the services. And does the dispenser of

the pills, wear rubber gloves for sanitary reasons? There's much to consider before you

displace him. Make sure he can handle the transition, so he doesn't get afraid after moving.

I have a friend, who died two days after her move. She was treated badly by staff in that

wing, and she went into a catatonic state of mind. And didn't recognize her daughter. And

then she died the next day. So weigh things carefully.

If he is happy where he is, DON'T move him. If he doesn't like it, move & hope for the best.

Be aware that any major change, even a change for the better, is hazardous when you are 92, unwell and have some dementia. Be careful!

Don't move him

at his age a sudden change usually does have bad consequences

my brother moved our mum from her care home to be near him...dead within 6 weeks

they say..this is the usual case when moving old people who have settled down and love their carers

and surroundings..

to start all over again is like a small child starting for the first time to school

Make sure he is well enough to make the move, He may enjoy new surrounding too.He could make some new friends and could be an adventure for him.

keep moving

From my own experience, and that of friends', you should be prepared for the possibility that your father-in-law's health may decline markedly following such a move.

On the surface, moving your FIL to another care unit certainly makes sense strictly from a logistical standpoint -- i.e. better facility, better room, seasoned staff, closer to you, more economical, etc. Yet, I have seen what such moves have done to family members and others in your father-in-law's age group. It is a colossal adjustment for them, overwhelmingly disorienting and confusing, and the stress of it leaves them vulnerable to declining health and too often a hastened death that can come surprisingly quickly (as my family has learned the hard way).

It's good that you've checked with his other children as to how they feel about such a move. Now it's time to consider your father-in-law himself and whether or not it is worth it to put him through the trauma that moving inevitably is, and all the more so for the aged.

It's by no means an easy decision, I know. Wishing you the best.

My vote is encourage him to choose to move. Being that close to you, I would imagine someone would see him about every other day or so.

Have you observed other residents who live there? Do there seem to be nice people who would probably sit and chat?

The only reason I would hesitate is if he expressed he didn't want to because of leaving friendships he has established where he now is.

I hope for both him and your family he will be willing and happy to be moving so much more near to your home.

Ask **him** what **he** would rather do, and **respect** his wishes.

My Mom is 96. Dad died 3 years ago. She isn't geographically very close to any of her 4 children, and at least two of us have said we wish she were nearer to us, but none of us live near each other...

She doesn't want to move, anyway. She also has trouble with her short-term memory, which makes it **much** more difficult to make changes in their lives! Moving is one of **THE** TOP stressors, as well, and that's true for ALL ages! If you love him as much as it sounds, you'll allow him to make the decision...

Why don't you see if the place nearer you would be willing to let him visit, and hang around for a bit, to see what he thinks of it . . . ? But, first, bring him to your house to visit, and see how he reacts to being away from his regular surroundings. If he doesn't miss them, then take him to check out the place near you.

Not having good short term memory means he won't likely be able to feel like he's at home in the new place. It will always feel like he needs to go home, to the place he *was* comfortable, & *felt* secure.

My Mom will go places with her daughters, but, she always wants to go right back to her apartment home. (In a retirement apartment house.) That is just the only place where she feels secure, anymore. She recognizes the people there, and knows how to get from one place to the other...without getting lost. That wouldn't be the case if she had to move, and it would break her spirit to loose what little independence she still has... She can walk to the stores nearby, and the post office... though it's a bit farther. They have occasional trips they take a van-load on, too. She loves that she doesn't have to cook, there!!! And, having to walk to the dining room is good exercise for her! (Though she sometimes uses a scooter part way.)

Where she lives, she can play PingPong on occasion, & learned how to 'put' in golf with a group, there... & she *wishes* someone there would play Horse-Shoes with her! (We do sometimes, when we visit.) She just got new neighbors, after her best friend died last year. They're moving into her old apartment...

Your father-in-law may not be as mobile, but, he may still have strong feelings about where he lives out the rest of his life!

I say, let *him* decide... and, in his own time.

Wanting to be able to spend more time with him is wonderful!!!

But... not if it's at the expense of his well-being.

You don't want to someday wonder if you actually hurt him, by trying to help him.

Besides that, if you decide for him, there is a very good chance that he could resent you for it!

So... use wisdom in making your decision.

Some people are finding that Coconut Oil is reversing their symptoms,

so he might do better with that...

.

.

Its all about the money honey!

If its closer, than move him!

"Joe" and "them" got their turn.. now its you and your husbands turn...

BUT overall its your choice!