binding spells,which to use and how ofter? Renurn my best friend?

Derek and I have been dating for almost three years. About a month ago he broke up with me totally out of the blue. He is now dating his sisters best friend emily. He wont talk to me or anything and he hates me for wanting him back. he said he left because he didnt love me anymore and I was too jealous. The number one person I was always jealous of was that girl emily. She is really weird and for some reason shaved half of her hair off and isnt the least bit attractive and looks like she gets dressed in the dark. Idk but for real I cant believe it because we always made fun of her (yes I know thats mean). Anyways I want him to come back. I want him to come crawling back. Im not an idiot and if he just all of a sudden asked to get back with me I wouldnt jump into his arms and tell him id be better this time. He would have to work hard to prove that he deserved my love and that he can be trusted again. We gave our virginities to eachother and had our whole lives planned out. we always got compliments on how great of a couple we are, and we were. We were perfect for eachother. I am trying very hard to let him go believe me I am but I didnt even get closure with him and that hurts like a knife. I would rather've had every bone in my body broken than my heart. I unfriended him and im wondering if you guys think I should wait for him to send me a request or if I should send him one. Ive been reading alot about jealousy and believe I have changed for the better but idk how to show that to him when I cant even talk to him. Hes more than my boyfriend he is the best friend ive ever had and nobody gets me like he does. I love him so much. Can you really just all of a sudden stop loving someone like that? If it helps I work with his sister and he workds right across the street :/. I tried the binding spell where you write something and it had his name on it and slept with it under your pillow for three nights and then put it away until he returns. Last night was day four so I didnt sleep with it. I think I may need a more powerful spell? Im not trying to go against his free will or anything I just want to rekindle what we had. I know if I could get him back I would be a better girlfriend and a better friend but I need him to come back first for me to prove it to him. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I want him back. PLEASE help. This is my first time trying spells but idk what else to do :/. I want to do it myself at home so please dont reccomend anyone that claims theyll do it for a fee. Please help everybody. I would do anything to have my best friend back.