Just curious--how does having children change your relationship with your husband/significant other?

It does a 180 on your life. I have a daughter. I love her dearly but I wish I would have waited awhile to do that. If you have not been married for a long time I would highly advise you wait and give your marriage time to just be you and him. We were not really on good terms with her family and this has just magnified all issues. Life becomes harder and more expensive and all freedom goes out the window. Movies on the weekend? Forget it. Random going out to eat or trips? Forget it. Energy to do something around the house? Forget it. It takes forever to get them ready to go ANYWHERE and you will always be on there schedule.

We enjoy eachother in different ways. I think its sexy to see him being a good daddy.

I always tell people, when u tjink u r ready to start having kids, WAIT ONE MORE YEAR!

I think it did bring us closer in some ways. Just the fact that nlw we r a family.

But, instead of going to see comedys or scary movies, we go see animated movies. Instead of going to a bar on the weekends, its chuckie cheese. Its an adjustment for anyone. I think men adjust to this slower. Make sure u guys discuss everything about how u want to raise kids....what u want pregnant life to be like ( do u want him to give up drinking for 10 months? A lot say it is a good way for hubby to show support) .

Expect less sex.

If u think ur hubby is one of those immature jerks who cant handle that, u might want to think twice. I have heard aweful stories about a woman who had a baby 3 months ago and her husband was pressuring her to have a threesome. It makes me sad for her and sad to think about a child being born into that home.

I have always wanted to be a mom, and even tho my husband wanted to have kids ( i wouldnt have married someone who didnt ) , he was never good around babies. But the moment he met his son, it was instant. He was a natural. ( he didnt meet his son til 6 months old due to deployment). If u guys have a solid foundation, it will change ur life in great ways, and the things that arent so great, u will learn to adjust.

My husband was good but for me I had to find ways to use his talents in child raising. He was good at picking up the toys, he brought them to well child visits, he stepped in when I was overwhelmed, being a marathon runner he trained everyday for years.. The kids adored him. He did karate and tee ball and took the girls to modeling school. They all got their black belts and did tournaments and did swimming tournaments. Teen years he and they just had talks alot. I did most kid transporting and socials at home. He did build them a club house. His best performance was chasing a meth using teen daughter around Seattle and taking her to rehab. I would say he was a good dad. We had a great sex life and I made sure that happened. He always knew I married to have a family and I made that clear from the begining.

When we had our first we had been married for a while, we we both older, and ready for the next stage of our life and relationship. It changed our relationship in a good way, despite the added work and stress at times; it was not just about us anymore, we had another person to work as a partnership for. The thing is, we were both prepared and ready to have a child penny wise, emotionally and relationship wise....so having a child helped our relationship grow into another stage, but we were ready for that growth.

Generally it is a lot of challenges, but if you are both well-intentioned they amount to growth in the relationship. I think the biggest issues we had were: he felt left out when they were babies and I was nursing, but I did not want to pump just so that he could do feedings and save his fee-fees, because pumping is not something you care to do if you don't really have to. It was very important for us to show trust and faith in each other's competence as parents even at a time when we were both acutely anxious about having a newborn, and basically clueless. Another source of resentment was the division of difficulty, as far as getting out of bed at night vs. being allowed to sleep. Now that kids are older it's about how much "me time" we give one another, by taking the kids out. This is a way we can show each other love!

When you're a parent you really have to try hard to make time to be romantic anymore, and it's not as easy and natural to do. You should not underestimate this! Even before having a baby we should have set up a relationship with a sitter and planned at least weekly date nights. Grownup-only time is precious when you're a parent and is basically the only thing that creates continuity of your feelings of romance. For what it's worth, our sex life improved after childbirth, at least in some ways. It certainly isn't any less good.

I think it is different for each person and depends on numerous factors. Children can add so much to a relationship, however they are by nature dependent on their parents to provide a stable home with plenty of love and affection. If I could offer one piece of advice to new parents, find a reliable babysitter and take time out for yourselves. You still need to nurture your relationship while nurturing children.

My first child was tough. My husband wasn't azaz well versed with kids as I was and tended to hide out a lot and not help. As he became more comfortable in his role as a father, things got better. We now have 4 children and it hasn't been easy. For a long period of time we kind of let our marriage fall to the roadside and things got bad. However we are working on things, for the sake of us and for the sake of the children.

All in all I do believe that having children helped our marriage, out helped us grow from being more selfish to selfless and taught us more about unconditional love than either of us ever knew.

The fact you are thinking about this before jumping head first into parenthood shows you are smart. You just have to ensure you and your spouse are on the same page regarding parenthood...things like how you want to raise your children, your specific beliefs in parenting and any concerns you may have in being a parent. This will help you both understand and hopefully make the task of parenting a bit easier down the road. Being a mom is one of the best, most important choices you will ever make and doing it with your and your spouse in agreement will definitely help you both in the long run!

Best of luck to you!

If you lock your children in the basement and encourage them to fend for themselves, then they will not change your relationship. For normal people however, the change is immense.