Am I a horrible owner for considdering this?

Hi,

I'm facing a dilemma right here with my border collie. I practice flyball with him and for him, it's his life. There's nothing in the world he loves more than playing it. I also participate in a competition with him and he's good, very good even.

Some time ago, he injured himself at home. He broke his 'little finger' on his right front paw. I didn't notice at first and I put him on hold for 6 weeks (I assumed it was only a mussle injury) After that, I started to play flyball again and nothing went wrong. He did become much slower which I though of as normal due to the period of inactivity. After a few months though (at the end of the competion) he started to limp again, nothing really bad but enough to make me decide his season was over. I tried desperatly to keep him active without flyball but after 6 weeks he started showing signs of depression (completely apathic) and he became destructive. Mindgames, walks, ... didn't cut it, swimming was a nice extra and might do the job but what will I do during the winter? I also went to the vet and had all his paws scanned. They were all in perfect health except for his little finger. The vet told me it was an older injury covered with chalk with a mussle around it that would start to hurt from time to time. He gave me the following options:

- quit flyball: not going to happen, besides he'd just injure himself while doing someting else. He's from a special working line so has even more energy than the average BC!

- Give him painmedication b4 a match. I tried this for a training, he did manage to get back to topspeed but after training he was standing on 3 legs again so that's not an option either, he'll just go over his limits. I can't say 'I'll let him run only twice' either, he needs to get rid of his energy. Any suggestion to limit running on flyball must be compensated elsewhere.

- Amputate the pinky and now we arrive back at the title of this topic. I hate that word, it scares me to death even after my vet told me it would be ok and that my dog would be able to run without pain and at top speed again. I went for second opinions, went to the breeder, asked friends, ... but I still can't come to a decission. Am I beeing an egocentric basterd for wanting my dog to run without pain and at top speed (I won't lie: the competition is important for me as well) or would I be doing the right thing? I'm in doubt for I do want him to achieve his topspeed, but I feel horrible when I see him hurting himself. ONLY the little finger would be amputated and since a dog doesn't really use his little finger when running, it shouldn't have consequences.

He's 5 yrs old, in excellent health, weighs about 16-17 kg (not a scrap of fat on him) and was recently scanned: no hip problems (A) and only 1 fracture on his pink. He's currently at top condition, but it's just a matter of time b4 he hurts himself again and then I'll need to take all his exercise from him again and :(

It's a very hard decission, I don't even know what to expect from the answers I'll get but it can't hurt to ask, can it.