please help...just a hopeful comment...?

Question

Be warned...before I get started there's a dose of self pity here... :-s

I'm a 24 year old man and I'm pretty scared that I may be bi-polar and that my lows are getting lower.

A few years back (5 yrs actually) my dad took his own life and I was the one who found him. We now attribute this act to what could have been manic depression. For a few months after I seemed...y'know...okay, considering. Before long the panic attacks started kicking in though, but then, a few months and some anti-depressants later, I just stopped worrying. Stopped caring. About everything...Lost my girlfriend of 4 years, best friend of 10 years(whom I hurt badly), job of three years and finally my house. Through all this I'd told my family NOTHING of the job loss and the eviction notice but eventually word leaked to my mam and she wound up bailing out me out of thousands of pounds worth of debt (I still lost the house but was fortunate enough to have another good friend who put me up for months rent free until I was back on my feet).

Afterwards, I felt so f*****ng guilty to my mam and friend(s) that I really pushed to get back into work, and on my feet, paying back rent and loaned monies. This has given everyone the impression that I'm 'okay' again, but actually, I feel worse now than I ever have in my life. I think that everyone hates me. I feel that everyone thinks I'm a mummys boy for needing her help, and I miss my best friend still.

Now I don't know if I have hereditary depression which could get as bad as my dads...or if I just feel this awful sometimes because I left such a trail of hurt friends, partners and wallets in my wake...

xxmeg.duckxx · Accepted Answer

Relapses are normal ok - dont be scared. You aren't going to get worse that doesn't have to happen
You are going to,get better and get help. You have clearly recognised you might be heading into a low down stage and this is sometimes enough to,stop it. 

You got,through this once , you can get through it again. You have had some real crap times to,deal with - you got through finding your dad like that so come on you can get through this. Get help now. G back to your doctor and make them, listen , tell them everything. They want to help you and they will.

I wish I could write more but it's 1am here and I have to be up very early - but please feel free to message me (I'm pretty sure you can do,it through  my profile on here - email button or so,meting) if you think there's shying I could say that may give you hope,support , or anything then email me 

Good luck

Anonymous · Answer

Visit blackdogtribe.com for online support.. Also Ur selfesteem is very low right now. U need to find ways to improve it, look online for tips. Also try learning and doing new things; start small and this will give u a sense of achievement. .. Visit yourlifeyourvoice.org to talk to a free online councellor.. Look up exercise and depression online it releases endorfins which improve mood and brain chemistry. and Art Therapy; channelling what ur feeling into something creative helps ur brain process the negativity in ur head. also find some volunteer work; helping others or nature builds selfesteem, gives life new meaning gives perspective and good karma... u dont have to believe in god but finding some spirituality can really help and good karma is a good start... basically research all u can on depression then when u find things that help come on here and share with the other deprrssed people, more good karma. Why not join clubs groups and activities in ur community where you ll meet like minded people. Or challenge urself by joining groups u wouldnt normally be interested in.  good luck and dont be afraid of going to ur doctor, be totally honest and they ll understand and be able to help; medication can work wonders, like lifting a weight from ur shoulders.

seeley · Answer

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Lexi · Answer

I think you really need to tell your family how you feel. They will help you through what you're going through and try  their best to do what's right. They've already lost one family member and wouldn't want to risk losing another. I also think you should talk to your old best friend and tell them how sorry you are. 


You should visit your doctor and tell them what you're going through. Don't loose faith. Stay strong and try to fix what has gone wrong in your life. I'm so sorry for your loss. God bless you. ♥

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please help...just a hopeful comment...?

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