My car is a bird sh*t magnet... What should I do?

Birds do poop as they fly so there's always a chance that any car will get pooped on. Are you a person who is car-obsessed, don't even want fingerprints on the paint job? You would have to be driving under thousands of flying birds to have your car "always covered" in the stuff. Allot of poop on a car usually indicates that you've parked under a tree or someplace else where they roost. You will have to find places to park that do not have birds above your car. Don't worry too much, nobody ever died of embarrassment. It's all about where you are parking. Best of luck.

Park it else where