Honest opinion about the start of a fiction story?

Good, bad, ok, yuck, poo, blech! Be honest!

“Mother,” Victoria Nix practically shouted, “White? Have you gone completely bonkers?”

The fourteen year old beauty was goggling at her mother as if she had completely taken leave of all her senses. Alexandra Nix simply regarded her oft vivacious offspring with a cool look and a heavy sigh.

“What are you complaining about now?”

“You, of all people, should know I’m a human dirt magnet,” Victoria huffed, “I’ll end up looking like a child’s finger painting gone horribly wrong or something! I just know it!” She folded her arms tightly in defiance, “Do you just like embarrassing me?”

“That’s enough Victoria!” Her mother snapped, shooting her daughter a dangerous glance Victoria knew all too well. It was a look that caused the darkest of evil creatures to cower in utter terror when they saw it.

“Look, I realize how much you loathe dressing up but I’m not going to have you looking like something the cat dragged up out of the woods and left for dead on the stoop!”

Victoria’s eyes and mouth went wide in indignation but before she could offer a scathing retort her mother continued.

“That, my dear, is you embarrassing me. I want you to make a good first impression on Stanley. Is that too much to ask? Besides, you look radiant and lovely – and I hate you for it just so you know.”

“What are you talking about mother?” Victoria replied agitatedly, “You make me look like a cross between a sloth and a troll! You turn guy’s heads where ever we go!”

It was absolutely true. Her mother was a gorgeous woman of forty and did not look anywhere near her age – but Victoria – the girl was growing into a stunningly ethereal beauty. Taller than most youngsters her age, Victoria had not become the usual skinny and coltish teenager – all knobs and twigs. Her constant ventures out into the woods climbing trees, traversing creeks, streams and rivers and the occasional climb up a small mountain or two had turned her into a physically strong and capable young woman. Her long and wavy dark blond hair (when it was washed, combed and styled) made the girl look much older.

Now, standing beside her mother at the entrance to a fancy restaurant about to be introduced to her mother’s boyfriend for the first time since they had started dating a few months ago, Victoria started to sweat. Her mother was right – she hated dressing up.

I mean, after all, what kind of name is Stanley? The guy is probably a complete dork with thick glasses and a big bald spot! What could my mother possibly see in a guy named Stanley? And he has a son my age who’s probably Dork Junior – Oh God, if you can hear me please hit me with a lightning bolt right about…

“There they are,” Alexandra said excitedly. When she glanced back over her shoulder at Victoria she frowned, “Would you please stop slouching and at least pretend like you’re a happy, semi-well adjusted young lady?”

Victoria gave her mother a beaming smile but as soon as Alexandra turned back to greet the two approaching figures she stuck her finger in her mouth acting like she was about to gag herself.

Just a little tickle on the back of the throat and this date night will be history!

At the last minute she decided against such a blatant display of disdain and decided it would probably be in her best interest to just play along – for a while anyway. When she turned back around and regarded the man and the boy standing before her mother she practically fell over. She was gawking up into the blue eyes of one of the most handsome men she had ever seen in her life.

Stanley Bender was gorgeous! That was the only way to describe him. Tall, broad shouldered with light brown hair cut short, styled and trimmed nicely. Victoria thought that smile could have melted the polar ice cap and the way he was looking at her mother suggested he was defiantly in love!

Mom – This one could be a keeper!

When Alexandra turned and gave Victoria a smile she returned it with as much genuine warmth as she could.

“Stanley,” her mother said gesturing to Victoria, “This is my daughter Victoria – Victoria – Stanley Bender.”

Victoria shook his hand a bit nervously beaming up at his rather bewildered gaze.

“Good grief Alex,” Stanley stated in a gentle but vary masculine voice, “You weren’t exaggerating a bit were you? Your daughter is absolutely stunning!”

Victoria couldn’t help but blush to the roots.

Wow! Nickname already! That’s a good sign!

“I’m sorry,” Stanley back peddled hastily, “That wasn’t a very proper thing to say. Please forgive me Victoria, I didn’t mean to embarrass you like that. It’s just…”

Victoria just held up a hand letting him know she would survive.

“Good Lord, where are my manners,” Stanley stated emphatically, “I’d like to introduce my son, Stewart – Stewart, Alexandra and Victoria Nix.”